Friday, January 13, 2012


Today, I am 18 years old with 12 years of experience. It also happens to be Friday the 13th.

For weeks (perhaps months or year(s)? It's certainly become more frequent lately), I've been lamenting about how turning 30 would make me old and how my memory is failing me or how there are more aches and pains than I used to have. Even staying up past a certain hour leaves me nearly incapacitated the following days (note plural use of the word).

Google regularly does this thing where they modify their logo to represent a specific event of the day--often a birthday. There was not a specific one today. I have friends who work at Google... if they were to create one for my birthday, I'm sure it should include some of the items below:

This happens to be an attempt at photos for 2012 but I still have issues with lighting at home and good composure. Looks like one of the themes will be creating good composure with items as your subject. Regardless, I thought I'd showcase the "Survival Kit" I was provided at work today:

1. pamphlets: arthritis and menopause are 2 conditions that aging women should be considering. After all, according to Health Canada, 1 of 6 Canadians have some type of arthritis and 60% are under the age of 55 (2003). Menopause... well y'all know what that's about.
2. magnifying glass with light: too bad the batteries are tricky to get in, for those affected with arthritis!

3. night cream: by the time you're 40, it's too late; apparently you can never start too early

4. tweezers: for those chin hairs that sprout up randomly from menopause
5. sudokus: for keeping the brain sharp
6. sticky notes: different coloured arrows in case you forget where the bathroom is
7. denture safe gum: to keep those pearly whites, white; and the breath, fresh

8. double mirror: one magnifying and the other regular
9. discrete bladder control pads: for those days where you need a little extra protection
10. post-it notes: so I won't forget stuff
11. denture adhesive: to keep those pearly whites in place
12. pill box: to keep track of all my happy pills
13. metamucil: you know... to keep things moving along
14. special eye cream & super line prevention: so that things will stay smoother, longer
15. the proper signage: to warn others of my condition

16. chocolate covered prunes: just kidding. Chocolate macaroons so that I can keep my blood sugar at normal levels

I would say that of all the presents I have ever received, this has got to be the most practical and necessary. For example, I already put my pills in the pill tower and labelled the days of the week. I might add I was rather excited when I was doing this because I considered purchasing a pill keeper at one point but couldn't justify paying for it because I felt that my brain should be in suitable enough condition to remember. But now I don't need to!

Heh... joke's on my coworkers: I'm using 80% of that stuff already!

No comments:

Post a Comment