Friday, March 9, 2012


I got an email from AL the other morning, telling me the fate of one of the pair of ducks (angel and devil) I got her for a previous Christmas. The devil duck became a unnecessary casualty between one of her podmates and a Brampton manager. While AL, DC and I were trying to think of ways to retaliate to this unwarranted act, we were thinking of ways to punish the initiator...

Per an email from DC...

You know, sometimes the worst punishment is the anticipation of punishment.
So next time she calls you...

"Ya, I forgive you."

"Oh, thank goodness. You know, I still feel really bad."

"Don't sweat it. I have my duck back, that's all that matters... And although I doubt the sani-wipes you used to clean his under-side did anything to cleanse the deep-seeded darkness that stained his soul for eternity, caused by the trauma so unfairly bestowed upon him... I have my duck back."

"... Geez, I had no idea you-"

"You know,... He may be a devil duck, but I assure you, the fiery pit from whence he was forged out of pure, concentrated evil was undoubtedly a day-spa compared to what he was subjected to... Submerged in the foul sludge of a Brampton toilet bowl."

"Brampton's not that-"

"I have my duck back... That's all that matters. But if I were you, I'd be careful."

"Whoa now... You're not threatening me, are you?"

"OH goodness no. ME? Listen, lady. I'm not the one with crimson complexion and the horns growing out of my head. At least not until sundown. I'm talking about the *whisper* d-u-c-k.... He's extremely well-connected... To beings beyond our realm.... Ya."