YiR & A Preview of Resolutions

I'm obviously late to the game this year but I have valid excuses :D

The first half of my return to undergrad adventure is complete and so is another calendar year. Marks were returned and *hooray* I'm still in the running to be able to apply! I continue to commute to Waterloo but this time, in the winter--which has a bunch of its own challenges.

For serious, I'm driving through the SW Ontario snow-belt

But, if there is anything I learned getting through last semester, I learned that I can do it, if I just put my mind to and that there is nothing that is impossible to accommodate as long as I can manage my time and limits appropriately. To keep myself on track, I am creating a visual inspiration board and doing my annual review and goal setting for the coming year.

Oh Dilbert. You always have an interesting perspective on life

Let's start with an analysis of last year...

• Personal/School/Career: I can confidently say that I have successfully met all these goals from last year!
• Household/Buckingham & Stanley C. Panther: the only one I did not meet my expectations is the cooking aspect. I have been taking advantage of my mom's cooking daily, and often going out to eat in place of making my own meals. Otherwise, all other tasks have been addressed! Not bad :)
• Horsey/Riding: this one took a major stall this summer and I think it actually needed to; I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I did last semester without this one being put on hold. I still find my mind wandering though, and I try not to think about this absence because I just get really sad. I found myself really enjoying the hugs I gave Ariel and Bons when we visited over the holidays. But the honest truth? I don't know if I could have brought myself to stop lessons if it wasn't for my Summer of George.
• Family: I have literally amazed myself on this front. Still lots of room for improvement but I did really well in this quadrant of goals, too!
• Social/Volunteering: I passively moved off one of my volunteering gigs; this was not the right way to go about it but I haven't been able to say "no" and not feel bad about it, yet. I also plain ol' stopped volunteering for the cat rescue and I honestly wish I stopped volunteering for my reluctant gig and moved to do something with the cat rescue instead. I did donate some pet food near the end of the year.
  In terms of the social aspect... I did only a degree of it. But, I don't feel too bad about it and think I just need to readjust my expectations and plans a wee bit and I should be good.
• Reading: does reading a lot of dry textbooks and science articles count?

I am impressed with myself, overall. I didn't think I could do as much, and I was really just focusing on the monumental task at hand. I'd say I didn't do too shabby this time around and I'll be upping the ante, so to speak, for 2017 because I think I can do it.

Truth!

How did your respective 2016 resolutions and year go?

Challenge

Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.--Unknown

I've rarely given much thought about being able. You know, not having my abilities hindered either physically or mentally. That is, until my Summer of George, which has given me a lot to think about with respect to a reduction of mobility in general. I've always acknowledged the risks involved with riding and have fallen multiple times; as well, seen others do it and break their own bones. I've never thought twice about getting back on. Maybe I reconsidered at the time b/c I was shaken up and probably feeling a little tenderized but never post lesson/riding.

After I fell off, I wanted to get back on but the pain was telling me otherwise. Enough, that I relented to the suggestion by a "barn mom" to get to the hospital to get x-rays; you know, just in case. When the news was broken (ha, see what I did there!) to me, about the wrist and the knee/leg, I was devastated, embarrassed and annoyed. The physician informed me that I had a wrist fracture and would be casted for the usual 6 weeks (pending healing abilities) but the leg/knee break would require surgery *sob*. After the emotions subsided a bit, my immediate thoughts were: when would I be able to ride again and what I needed to tell my bosses.

My priorities were short-sighted. I neglected to consider all the things I take for granted: getting from bed to the bathroom, personal hygiene, eating... the list goes on. It wasn't until I was brought home that reality smacked me in the face, and then some. I had to collect my pride, independent nature and anxiety, then replace it with patience, humility, a positive sense of perspective, and some heavy pain medication.

The last three months have challenged me, and been the source of some of my most important lessons.

The most obvious lesson I've acquired in the last three months is the reality of a physical/mobility related limitation. But I failed initially to understand how it affected others around me; I understood it affect the obvious things like being able to ride that horse, or get from place to place, but a single limited individual depends on the support of others around them, to get things done. I would never have been able to get to my doctor appointments, have proper meals or even keep the house (the yard is a whole other story thanks to this summer) in a somewhat respectable manner without the help of others like my family and +ADW. Depending on others was difficult for me to accept because of my independent nature.

Another lesson I took from the accident itself, and apply both to my riding and to other areas of my life: make the best of what's been thrown your way, adapt and persevere. If I've made a commitment to do something, I just have to follow through. The reiteration of this concept is particularly important at this time because I will be starting a journey that won't end in a one hour lesson... I am returning to school to upgrade my marks in order to apply for vet college, and IF I get in, I'll be focusing on the schooling to get me to that end goal. Mental endurance and keeping that eye on the prize will be my focus.

An unexpected lesson arose as I was getting better and more mobile. My first trip out of the house (other than doctor visits) was to the mall by wheelchair. Once I got a taste of some of what I was missing, I wanted to go out all the time. Alas, that was not my fate and I have been trying not to fixate on the time passing to see when ADW would return and we could do something like go out or watch TV. The simple fact was I was surprised at just how bored I could become with a whole day of doing nothing but sitting on my butt writing, reading or watching. It's clear that I will need to incorporate an activity into my day too.

The experience as a whole has been eye opening and though not exactly wanted or planned, worthwhile to look through different perspectives to gain a better understanding of myself and others around me. I just hope that this never happens again b/c the last lesson outlined above was probably the most difficult to gain!

A Review: The Legend of Zippy Chippy

I judged this book by its cover, grabbed it (scanned at the library) and ran (this was before I broke my leg and wrist). I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable read because I was so entertained by it! I know little about sports and even less about thoroughbred racing. But Canadian author William Thomas moulds the narrative life of racehorse Zippy Chippy in the most amusing fashion: by utilizing Zippy's life story to instill a sense of perspective about our own lives through the eyes of this lovable (and often ornery) equine.

Regardless of a reader's actual knowledge about thoroughbred horse racing history/industry, one would be able to take away tid-bits about life and sports history that can help us gain perspective about life's many struggles and failures while maintaining a positive outlook. I'm not saying that it's all rosy and rainbows and butterflies (because it's not), but it's really practical and honest in its tone. Each chapter follows a portion of Zippy's life and presents a moral and includes a brief about another similar subject that further drives the concept.

There is just enough humour, fact, moral and fun to keep the reader turning the pages and wondering what was the next bizarre turn of events that Zippy Chippy would get into. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions and reading parts to my other half about the antics which seem unbelievably silly and outrageous. Even through the silliness and the humour, I still found myself nodding in agreement about the practicality of what could be taken away from the turn of events which made the reading so satisfying!

Without giving it all away, I would highly recommend this read for anyone in any circumstances because the truth is, everyone can learn something from this ornery retired racing legend.

Reflecting on my 'Summer of George'

My bad habit finally caught up with me and was amplified with a poor decision. Or maybe that's two bad habits that seemed to come together, only one has a change in the usual suspect...? Ladies and gents, I have been holed up at home for the last ~3 weeks because (wait for it...) I broke my knee (tibial plateau fracture) and wrist. My biggest baddest habit is looking down when riding a jump, which means my upper body collapses and follows. My other baddest habit is bailing last minute; except in this case, I actually bailed my mount. I'm neither happy or proud at the outcome.

I was riding on a Tuesday afternoon and been riding a horse who's attention span is maybe 10 seconds. He's capable, agreeable and a big suck so a good ride if you can sort yourself out with him, but I have been struggling with him after the BSJ and been unsuccessful. All the bad habits and fears and paranoia rears its ugly head when I ride him. But, I didn't take the tumble from him... it was from another bombproof solid been-there-done-it-all hunter mount. The line approach was perfectly fine but my upper body went down, my mind stopped riding, and I decided that it would be better to bail than pull myself together.

My own version of "summer of George"

After knee surgery and a hot pink fibre-glass cast, I have been forcibly admitted to my own "summer of George"; spending days indoors (not a bad thing with the temperatures we've been having), permanently in my pyjamas in the same chair getting caught up on a lot of TV and blogging. But, I had so much planned this summer and all of it has been dashed to pieces. Needless to say, I've been depressed on several occasions and I regularly have to be reminded by the ever patient and supportive +ADW that "LIFE HAPPENS" and at least I'll be getting better day by day--it isn't permanent, he'd add.

With all the new found free time, I have been reflecting (see, obsessing) about why I'd have two falls within a small time-frame. I'm not implying I was an amazing rider previously, but I was far more willing and confident about jumps, courses and anything else that was thrown at me when I rode. I rarely refused to ride a jump and wanted to learn everything and anything and a greener horse was not usually something that unsettled me either.

I tell myself it's not that I am incapable of riding... a few things come up though:

• Not reflecting on my lessons to determine what went well and what needs improvement--I've gotten complacent and stopped blogging regularly this year.
• Ignoring my developing physical limitations that hinder me, and not righting them with more fervor.
• Allowing negative self-talk to interfere with my self-confidence when riding.
• Expecting perfection without more work from myself.

I'm sure everyone can relate to at least one of the thoughts above, getting in the way of their own successes. It is my unwavering goal that I will take this lesson with enormity and rectify the 'wrongs' that I have let creep in. 

To Boldly Go...

The last few months saw a couple of big changes in my life that have really challenged my personal sense of security. The biggest one was when I decided to quit my corporate-y job in June. I used to really enjoy what I was doing, who I was working with/for and what sorts of change I was making. But somewhere, that stopped and I started resenting my job and who it was making me become and I forgot why I was doing the things I was and where I was going. I couldn't see myself continue on the path I was on yet feared to make the most drastic change. I thought things might just get better if I stuck it out long enough but that isn't always the case and I needed to know when to cut my losses.

I have become the painter

The decision to leave my job was not taken lightly because I was really concerned about what my family would think and react. I have spent my life living in my younger brother's overachieving shadow and always trying to catch up with what everyone else wanted me to do (often unsuccessfully) so I often have not been too sure of myself. To my surprise, everyone was really supportive and this gave me the chance to explore what sorts of things actually bring a smile to my face and get me excited to get up for work in the dark and cold winters. I concluded a few things ranging from my penchant for efficient processes, desire to continue learning and love of animals and nature.

Make it so!

I have since landed myself in a small animal veterinary practice doing many things ranging from animal care/handling, to client consultation and clinic maintenance. I wasn't sure how things would go since I haven't done any of this work for many years and the business component was something I learned mostly by experience running a community dragon boat club and from my tenure in the corporate world; but none of it was due to schooling or formal training. It could have been an absolute failure but it's been the some of the most fulfilling experiences to date and I am actually excited about going and dealing with the less shining moments and individuals.

As +ADW points out to me, a career is a journey of phases that aim to get you closer to your goal. The goal might not be a specific position (or it could be), and the journey might have some dark and unappealing sections but one just need to keep that goal in mind and take each day as another step forward. The job is just the first step in my phase to moving forward and I am really excited about the upcoming phases that will bring me back to my academic life and seeing where things will take me in the next few years!

Blog Hop: 2014 Year in Review

I'm participating in the Blog Hop that +Laura of Bit by Bit initiated on her blog! She's doing a "Year in Review: 2014 and a blog hop". Like Laura, I am an adult student and don't have nearly as much experience as many of the riders in the blogisphere. I hope that this will be an opportunity for me to recognize both successes and short-comings.

WINTER (January - March)

Dark saddle pad, cremello horse

This past winter was really rough for everyone with regular dumpings of snow and super cold temperatures. Included was the ice storm of 2014 that sent many of us into the dark and cold for several days. But this never stopped any of us and we continued to ride. I worked a lot of jumping basics such as a crest release, 2 point, jump position recovery, straightness, soft eyes ahead, what it meant to land on the correct lead, better tools for adjusting trot and control of the trot through the seat/body. I ride two other horses, Quinn and Bons. I also bought my first piece of tack (no horse yet), a navy and green saddle pad, which I cleaned too.

SPRING (April - June)

The single elusive 2'9 jump that one time

Things really start to progress for my riding in the spring as I start my 2 lessons a week once the weather is nice and I am excited to continue working on my progress. We visit an A circuit stable called Forest Hill Training Centre and see how things are 'on the other side'. At my stable, I attend a clinic on showing and basic horse care for part-boarders, informally learn about the Pessoa Lunge line and head out on my first hack. I also experience my first major fall off of Ariel and I ended my diagonal jar and donated all the proceeds ($201.00) to Equine Guelph in memory of my instructor's horse who passed. I spend my first entire lesson on bareback at walk and trot and another time, get to jump a single 2'9 jump successfully! I participated in my first Blog Hop and did something different when I attended an off property clinic at Cadogan Farms to learn about le TREC.

A Le TREC exercise (I didn't get the chance to participate though)

SUMMER (July - September)

Off property at the Erin Fairgrounds

With so much happening in the spring, it's not really a surprise that things continue at full speed in the summer and I unintentionally learn the full body half halt (this has been tricky to reproduce instinctively), started my first mini-course of jumps (like under 2'?), did my first off-property lesson at the Erin Fairgrounds, bought a riding vest, brought my stirrup leathers down a hole from 7 to 6, work on a simple training level dressage test and have a very successful garden with 75% germination of the garlic planted the fall before (I also grew potato, beans and other leafy vegetables).

I've been told I clean up pretty well from time to time
(http://anniaveephoto.ca/)

In August, things take an interesting turn when Ariel is injured and I start riding other horses. I end up riding Bons (whom you're already familiar with) and a new gelding named Hank (the tank!). Hank is often a winner in the show ring and his riders place both well and frequently with him. That said, he knows his job and can anticipate certain asks of the rider, but (and that's a big but), he requires the rider to be diligent, clear and on the ball because he's lazy and sneaky otherwise; I learn to use a lot of leg in that lesson. On my blog, I participate in my second blog hop through Chronicles of a Moody Mare and blog about "a close call".

Things get REALLY busy this summer because +ADW and I get hitched in late-September. We have a lovely ceremony at the church I grew up in and celebrate on Ward's Island in Toronto. Unfortunately for me, there were not any horses involved.

FALL (October - December)

Stanley C. Panther *mew*

October had me try my hand at cleaning my grooming brushes since I figured they get Ariel (and Molson or Bons) clean so where does the dirt go? Evidently, into the brushes because they're pretty filthy when I wash them; I create this post for newbs who are looking for a way to do this. During lessons, I work on grid work and more focus on my ride into jumps and out. Sitting up recovering are my focuses as well as riding a good distance into the jump before take off. Around Thanksgiving, +ADW and I adopt a new kitten and purchase a home (literally across the street from my parents :P). Bucky gets his second Halloween photo shoot and is dressed as a crocodile this year.

Croco-Bucky

Sometime in October and November, I update my blog template and continue to work on updating it to suit my needs (it's still in a state of flux). I have another eureka moment when I figure out how to 'tell' Ariel which lead to take for jumps and which way we're going (provided my ride in is good), following the jump. I encounter a dilemma about whether to attend a clinic or go to a show that my brother was telling me about... I chose the latter and missed the lunging clinic that Sheri was holding. Sheri puts out exercises that work on our distance by learning to judge (still a work in progress!) distance of jumps to see when we take off and how to shorten/lengthen strides. As if to say that it's time for me to consider pausing my 2 lessons a week, I get a flat tire late in the evening on my way to lesson and I'm fortunate that J and Sheri are such awesome people to help me get to lesson and crawl the car to the stable. We attend a Royal Horse Show at the Royal with the stable and for the first time, we watch pony racing and Ian Miller in the show jumping competition. The month's lessons were primarily focused on jumping with breaking down the distance, control, communication, leads etc. I also change stirrup irons to those flexy ones that bend for a deeper heel and a more soft impact for the knee.

+ADW and I enjoying Paris (France) around Christmas time

We take a 2 week hiatus in December to vacation in Paris where I was able to add to my UNESCO World Heritage Sites listing. While in Paris, we visit most of the major sites and eat a lot of very good food and pastries, and get lost in the romanticism that is the city of Paris. Despite going on vacation, it isn't really like me, to just stop doing 'stuff'; I collaborated again this year, with +Laura, another adult rider, on her blog posting for her series of "12 Days of (Horsey) Christmas". The posts document a series (12, to be exact!) of fun, practical and wonderful gifts for the equestrian in your life (or you!). Upon my return to the stable, I start out with a great lesson where I went in with a very determined mind-set that felt like I wasn't gone for as long as I was. However, the subsequent lessons that followed definitely left something to be desired. Granted, at this point, I have returned to riding once a week because the winter weather is in full effect so I'll be focusing on getting my fitness levels and sleep schedules in check so I'm ready for spring!

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Having done this exercise to review my year, I see that I had noticable progress once I started taking 2 lessons a week. It's not that it was leaps and bounds but I felt like progress was being made (however small). I did drop all my 2014 year's resolutions it seems and will need to do better this year (more about that in a future post). A lot happened this year that were all big milestones (like getting married, buying a home, riding off-property and visiting Paris) so those certainly did interfere, but I'm not one to accept that as reasonable excuses. This past year was an incredible year full of changes and progress and I'm really pleased. That said, with all the great progress it will become my baseline and I look forward to continuing to improve in 2015!

Lesson #115: Learning to 'Just Trust'

I had the day off yesterday to do some wedding related things and horsey stuff (some enh, balanced with hooray!). Right to the hooray stuff, I started in King City where I made a visit to the Tipperary (Phoenix Performance) head office to pick up a protective riding vest. Then, I headed over to my usual week night lesson in Hillsburgh. And let me tell you, even though the drive was ~1 hour, it didn't bother me one bit. Driving in the country can actually be RELAXING! Who would have thought that, eh? The highlight of the drive (I forgot to snap a photo!) was at the corner facing west at Kennedy and The Grange Side-road when you come to a stop at the intersection and you just see a breath-taking vast expanse of land covered in trees, estates and farm plots; it's not called the Hills of Headwater for nothing! The view was stunning and everything that has been stressing me out for weeks (if not months) momentarily melted away. Good thing the side-roads aren't busy ;)

To top off the great drive in, I got to casually stroll into the stable and calmly put my stuff down and get myself together. There were 2 other 'students' in the lesson. I say 'students' because one of them Sheri's companion, who's been riding since he was a boy. We started with a lot of flat work. Ariel seemed sleepy when I found her but better than the last time I went to get her when she defiantly made a dash for the other end of the paddock. The first exercise was a shallow serpentine pattern across the quarter line. We had to get our horses to bend and flex... not Ariel's forte. Needless to say, we both spent a lot of the lesson arguing about what to do.

Eventually those 'lines' became a ground pole, a low X and 3 trot poles. I would say the need to be thinking ahead of the next obstacle while as you're coming into the immediate one was critical. Lots of leg yielding, bending and flexion. All things (again) that Ariel loathes doing. My right shoulder was falling forward and I was torquing my body to the left again so I had to make an extra concerted effort to be in control at all times because let's face it, if I give even a second to this mare, she's taking over and doing it her way. Which actually only means that I need to be on her more consistently and to prepare ahead of time for what I want--not new, I know... we've been working on this for what seems like ages and I suppose I may continue doing so for a while.

That final exercise is tough! Because I doubt myself and Ariel to get through the obstacles that are so close together! And the directions offered Ariel are actually rather minor so in my mind, I can't quite figure out if it's effective or not! Ugh... I'd need to just trust... another example of how the rest of my life is connected to my horsey lessons.

And a Merry Christmas to all!

Business Bucky wishes you a Merry Christmas!

Model: Buckingham
Wardrobe Consultant: me!
Photographer: me
Finished on Pixlr Express

A Review: The World According to Garp

I'm not a heavy fiction reader. In fact, my requirements for a good fiction are generally high and typically, I bore quickly from a fictional read that doesn't catch my attention right away. This was my initial thought about The World According to Garp. I received the book (along with others) from ADW 5 years back when we first met. I suspect it was his way of trying to impress me with his bookworminess; frankly, he had a better chance of wooing me just by donning his glasses. The pile of books sat on my desk until I decided that I need to read more.

I didn't know what to expect from The World According to Garp; the cover gives nothing away and I've never heard of the author, John Irving. Wikipedia summarizes the major themes: death, gender roles, and sexuality. I was skeptical considering the dark subjects it focuses upon and wonder what Mr. Irving would do, to draw his reader in. The Wiki article goes on, to mention that this book is Mr. Irving's best selling title: I decided it was worthy of a chance.

Like much of our media now, there is a lot of sex in The World According to Garp; used as both a noun and a verb. The act of sex, getting it, wanting it, forcing it and the implications or expectations associated with being a specific sex. You could say that Irving sold the book like most marketers do now... with sex; a whole lot of it. But, he doesn't glamorize it like those CK billboards. He makes no attempts to hide anything about the "real deal". The implications of the act of sex as well as what it means to be associated with a specific sex. Irving really messes with the reader's socially conditioned version of sex as both a verb and noun. We're made to feel uncomfortable and out of our natural comfort zone of understanding and what's "normal".

Complimenting this theme of sex, he displays the dualities in virtually everything. Where there is life, there is a moment where death becomes the dominant leader. Or where there is bliss, there is great sorrow and sadness to contrast. The reader is never allowed the opportunity to just be happy for Garp and his family/friends. There is always momentary happiness which is usually followed by a great deal of sadness. But, isn't that the way life sort of is? I found the book's subjects to be very real. Surprisingly, several of the people in my life have read the book and have generally provided a somber or dire perspective on the plot. They have even gone as far as to tell me that the book is "heavy" and "they wouldn't read it again".

Although the story is thoroughly speckled with unusual (and uncomfortable) situations and characters that the average reader might consider to be too crude or even offensive, the reader is always reminded that the world isn't a pretty place and that the theme of sex seems to seep into everything somehow. I find myself not the least bit offended by Garp's actions as I keep a similar realistic (?) view on the world and its people. None of the bizarre cirucmstances seem too far fetched in my mind. So when I finished reading The World According to Garp, I was neither strongly opposed to the subjects he talks about or the characters Irving creates. I felt like Irving represented people with  experiences of disappointment, sadness, disappointment, anger/rage, jealousy, joy, desire, anxiety and happiness. I'd say he got well into the minds of people in general and just decided to make up an interesting story to "put it out there", if you will.

I know Irving has written some other books--not only this one has been adapted to the silver screen--and they all seem to address unconventional themes and issues; so certainly a "heavy read", but one that is real enough to keep us grounded in the reality of the world and its people.