The Mental Game

I used to have way more confidence about going over course work but lately, I've been second guessing myself a lot. I'd ride into jumps that were more of a challenge than previously... maybe with a tighter approach or a higher rail. But, I started hesitating and checking out, last minute. For weeks, that hasn't been an issue as I would sort it out and get over it. Was I nervous? Every time, I approached the "big scary fence" (BSF) and you could see me tense and just second guess myself as I push to go over.

Both my instructors have said that it's mostly a mental game, to get through a course or whatever it is. An experienced instructor can make the assessment about whether or not the rider can actually accomplish the said jump/movement with the horse, so it's really just left up to the rider to get over themselves. The thing is, communication is split second fast so you really need to know what you're doing up there. When +ADW found out that I fell, he knew exactly what happened: I lost my nerve, hesitated and chickened out last minute.

The course work for the day was modest and I started the lesson with really good spirits and felt confident that the course was flowing. The first four jumps were great--I felt in control, knew where I was going and Bonsi followed me right through and it was fantastic. But, coming off the third jump, I knew I was getting nervous about that last jump--first mistake. Second mistake, I started to feel unbalanced and out of control and was panicking about bringing us back together. Third mistake, I checked out mentally and let Bonsi take over. You can see from the diagram below, the sequence of jumps laid out. I started panicking after jump 3. Then, the pink line shows where I deeked out last minute, instead of following through with the purple. I did manage it a few times prior, at the trot but the canter just freaked me right out.

After deeking out at E, I don't know what I was thinking (I wasn't) and we cut across the arena and then I wanted to go right but Bons knew that he simply couldn't fit between the wall and jump at B so that's where we parted ways and I flew into the wall and he continued towards M and C...

I'm physically tenderized and still recovering from the soft tissue damage sustained, when I slammed into the wall with my right shoulder and torqued my left knee. But the biggest challenge has been getting over BSJ mentally. The most recent lesson got me on Ariel and we were doing a couple low key jumps and again, I chickened out with a narrow jump that tests the accuracy of the approach (usually jumps are wide enough that there are few options to avoid them) and while nothing happened, it was definitely a flash of emotions and thought processes. I have gone over and over again, in my head, the approach of that BSJ that unseated me and I know I could have gone over it just fine... if I just committed to it and rode through. It isn't the first time I've had to recollect myself after a messy jump.

My heart wants to do it but my logical brain is repeatedly reminding me "oh no you can't! That's scary." I'm reminded of another part of my life where the goal is long-term and I have to keep my eye on the prize and not get distracted and make any last minute decisions away from my goal. Sure, the "jump" might not be pretty, but I have to try and do it anyway. If it's an epic fail, so be it. I gotta get into the (mental) game.

Lesson #208 & #209: Frustrated Enough to Motivate

I haven't written about the last two lessons because nothing has really progressed and there hasn't been any "a-ha" moments either. I am working on jumping courses again but I'm finding myself struggling with my position over jumps, again. While it isn't a big deal... I've been doing courses at a lower height so I feel like I've regressed a bit. It's more injury to the ego than actual regression so I'll take it... for now.

I have been anticipating the jumps recently and I notice that's what's keeping me behind and a poor position. I suspect it's got to do with Ariel's recent stint of counter bending and giving me way more trouble in the arena than I'd like. I haven't let it escalate and she hasn't dragged me out of the arena on her whim, but I'd still like to get that respect back. As well, I seem to have trouble keeping our corners deep. This causes a poor set up usually and it is yet another cause to the issue over fences.

The flat work is mostly fine (it can always be better) but I have had trouble getting Ariel to respect my aids. I might have to resort to crops/bats and spurs again... which I don't really enjoy using but if Ariel is getting a bit sour with poor communication from her rider, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the reasons she's reacting the way she is. I don't blame her either... having clarity during a conversation about what to do is awfully important in my books.

As with all things to do with riding, it starts with the rider and I have been talking my mouth off on this area periodically for some time. I make excuses all the time but in order to get over my rut (both in riding and other areas), I will incorporate a balanced schedule and include other physical activities. Upon further reflection and not enough research, I started the BeFit's 30 Day Fat Burn workout that ScarletPen28 has done. Each video is approximately 10 minutes.

Click to enlarge

Scarlet did this one and another combined; she's crazy. I can only manage this one right now... after doing day 1, I still can't feel my legs and part of my arse. I'm not sure whether to love or hate her for finding this thing. Tonight, I attempt the Cardio Extreme workout. If you don't see another post in the next few days, know that I probably didn't survive that video (10 minutes!! :O) and that +ADW found me curled up in the fetal position in the basement.

Lessons #205, #206, #207: Reinvigorating Goals and Direction

There isn't much to write about with the last few lessons other then I've been working on addressing the right side issue that we discovered 2 weeks back. I try to ride with my right hip relaxes and the leg "falling outwards" so I can keep that in check. It seems that once that hip pulls my right leg in, the rest of my right side follows and that's where the curling inwards comes from. So my lessons are mostly me making the conscious effort to go through the check list at all gaits:

1. Weight in the heels/heels down
2. Right hip open and relaxed so the thigh is off the saddle
3. Hips and lower back relaxed to absorb the movement
4. Chest open and shoulders back and 'down'
5. Looking in the direction I am turning, even for corners
6. Shoulders following my head turn
7. Sitting back/up

Things are coming together more as I am making the conscious effort to ensure that the hip doesn't allow my right leg to collapse. It's really easy to get handsy in the corners instead of using my seat to push Ariel back out and on the right bend.

On Thursday, there were 2 other students in my class and one of them is still working up to getting comfortable with things so it was a good opportunity to focus on flat work. I felt ambitious (though to be honest, I did tell myself I needed to use the time more efficiently) and started weaving in and out of the bending poles that were just standards set in a line. This exercise is difficult even at the walk because you want to use your seat to turn them and not your hands/reins. 

The warm-up consisted of a series of different tasks that for some reason, I felt very comfortable flowing from one to the next...

• Posting trot with and without stirrups
• Sitting trot with and without stirrups
• Adding 2 point position
• Cantering with and without stirrups
• Cantering in a 2 point position
• I even managed to sort myself out to pick up and drop stirrups during canter! A feat that usually leaves me tight and bouncy

On Sunday, I had +ADW pick what we'd do since I usually get to pick on Thursday nights already and I wasn't feeling particularly nervous about anything. I'm glad the picked an over fences lesson because I had done quite a few flat classes recently. We did things pretty low key and kept the jumps low so to get a better feel of the horses' movement over jumps. The lesson went quite well in that we were jumping the course and ended on the highest jump that was set out there at around 2'3" to 2'6". It wasn't pretty which simply means I need to continue working up on the things that I am doing at the lower heights so I am more solid.

Areas of improvement include, but are not limited to:

• Sitting back up between jumps
• Shift our hips back instead of jumping with the horse, over jumps
• Using the space in the arena better so we can appropriately set ourselves up for the jumps
• Looking early for the jump
• Drive with our butts coming into the jump

Hopefully I'll be as diligent with my most recent lessons, for the coming ones so I can continue to improve upon the things I lack. In addition, I am going to be starting ScarletPen's 30 day bottom challenge to address a possible weak backside and start getting in a 45-60 minute yoga session 2-3 times a week. And now that the weather is cooled down, it might not be a bad idea to jump on my bike...

Lesson #203: Seeing the Curve

Saturday's early morning lesson had me working on more jumping but with +ADW. Similar, to the Thursday lesson but two friends joined to watch the lesson because I'm hoping (fingers crossed!!) that at least one of them would decide to take up lessons too. I'm not normally a particularly social person and I enjoy yoga because I can go at my pace and know that I'm my own competitor, but sometimes do find that riding can be a wee bit lonely. ADW rides with me but let's face it, he isn't as "into it" as I (and some of you!) are. So it's nice when adult students join classes--that's what my current Thursday nights are for!

Anyway, the lesson we do is a jumping lesson with J and we spend less time than recently, on the flat. Ariel has been a bit pokey and one of the things I struggle with is picking up the canter when I ask. Sometimes Ariel flat out refuses to move even though I've told her to; it takes a more severe method of reinforcement in those cases. We get right into the jumping. I take a jump (red) on the diagonal but close to the rail and have trouble 'seeing' the ride-in. I don't ride the corner as deep as I should and sometimes come in at a much more gradual curve which leads me to be more handsy.

Totally not drawn to scale... hahaha...

There is still a struggle to get the ride-in just right but it isn't miserable and so we do move onwards to adding more jumps to the course until I ride all the jumps in the arena. I try my best to sit back up once I get through a jump because I have literally ridden more and more forward as the course goes on and as we all know, getting your centre of gravity forward and up is a great way to set yourself up to land on your face.

I didn't mention yet... that ADW is now cantering multiple jumps too!! He's riding a steady gelding who's a great teacher!

Lesson #202: Interspersion

My Thursday class was a jumping lesson in the outdoor sand arena with one of the student's mom who's taking lessons as well. It's her second jumping lesson apparently but honestly, you wouldn't think so.

The start of the lesson has us warming up with the trot and then I move into a sitting trot without stirrups. I still find I have the best balance without stirrups since there's something wrong with my right hip and it tends to collapse at the knee without me consciously thinking about it. I don't know what muscle is causing the issue but it is the biggest issue at this point in time.

Then J says to canter without taking back the stirrups around and around. Ariel and I have a really good lesson. She is responsive and quick without fussing and objecting. To level up this exercise (after taking back the stirrups), we are asked to hold 2 point (jumping) position while placing our outside hand behind the small of our back. The objective is to get our upper body position up and open while our hips go back. This is not too tricky a task which surprises me because I thought I would have difficulty balancing and keeping the turns.

Finally, we move into over fence work. Starting with one is just fine. My position over is mostly good and I don't have major issues. Then we start adding more jumps to create a mini course. One couple of jumps is a line on the diagonal and J reminds me that the middle is flat work and that there is little time to think about much else but to sit up. I have trouble with doing that. For some reason, all my mind can think about is "let's get into a forward position and just hold it". WHY??? Ugh. So I have to really intentionally think about sitting back up in between the jumps. My course work is certainly improving but I have to remember that the flat in between jumps should be ridden as such and "preparing" for all the jumps with a forward position isn't doing me any favours.

Lesson #200: Whips, Crops and Progress

I had a Thursday lesson in the outdoor jumping arena with one of the other youngsters. She just got a new horse (went from bossy mare pony previously) to a new gelding. He's still new so I don't know a lot about him. I pulled Ariel from her paddock and she's covered in mud despite only having been on there for about 30 minutes and wearing a fly sheet. Seriously. After getting right in those nooks and crannies, I saddled her and we went off to the outdoor. For some reason, it was a super busy night (usually it's just me and MAYBE one other) so both indoor and outdoor were being used.

I incorporated bending and circles into the trot warm up but noticed that my right leg tends to hug Ariel too much and she ends up leaning on my leg. During one circle, she leaned so much on my leg that she tripped--not something that typically happens. She's also more pokey and slow than usual probably because she's got a slightly heavier work load with all the kiddies wanting to ride and show her!

The rest of the lesson is mostly just working on the flat at trot and canter and transitions. I have been doing yoga this past week and notice that my balance and whatnot is better and I'm able to initiate the canter transitions more effectively. I suppose it helps that I had a dressage whip too. BTW, I didn't realize that the way to use a dressage whips is different than a crop/bat!

Riders generally know this but for those who read the blog and aren't aware... there is a continuum of severity in communicating with your horse. It's like I was always told to ask, ask louder, demand. I personally prefer not to use one because I find it distracts my position but some days, I need extra help.

Top: dressage whip; below: crop/bat

Crop/Bat: after asking and asking louder, you can demand your request with the bat/crop by angling it towards the shoulder and tapping them with it. And if that doesn't work and you need more go, get that thing behind your leg and give them a good smack with it. Nobody (including horses) like getting hit so they'll likely move forward.

Dressage whip: you hold this piece on your thigh and when you require the "demand", you simply lift it and tap it against your leg because it's flexible enough to 'kiss' their hinds to get them moving. When you're not using it, you want to avoid accidentally tapping them so direction is down a bit, against your thigh. With the dressage whip, your position remains more consistent since you're not moving your arm as much.

Back to the lesson: I tried to maintain the canter without breaking so I have to remember to sit back when I ride and not lean forward. Continuing on the flat work, I am asked to do some leg yield and wow, what a hot mess for both of us!! It isn't a very successful portion of the lesson and I'll need to come back to it another time.

To finish the lesson, I am asked to do some jumping of single jump. The first one I take is a nice low one where the pole is placed on the seat of two patio chairs (so not all that high but a good start). My first try was actually quite successful and I felt good about it. J asked me to move it up a notch and try the two wood crates/boxes that are about 2'6 in height and also a source of anxiety formerly. I am really happy to report that that jump didn't phase me at all and while my position is still a work in progress, I didn't freak out while riding into the jump and my recovery following a poor position was quick.

Lesson #199: Flat Work Faults

Our lesson on Saturday saw us get back into jumping. We've been taking it kind of easy lately so it's exciting to get back into jumping. We started the lesson with the usual trot warm up and focus on bending and keeping our corners nice and clean. We also do some exercises with downward transitions where I don't allow Ariel to just fall into the transition down. This is tough because I have to collect Ariel and sometimes it doesn't feel like anything is actually happening or my back starts to seize and I lose that movement with Ariel. I seem to only get that movement when I really concentrate on sitting trot but when I try to initiate anything else, I go from going smoothly with Ariel's movement to bumpity bumpity bump and things start falling apart.

Canter transitions upwards continue to be a struggle because my movement with Ariel contradicts when I try to initiate it and my upper body falls forward and Ariel simply speeds up. It's tricky but I have to get myself to sit back so far that it feels like I'm leaning back. The main initiator is the inside seat-bone but lately I've been having trouble getting that seat-bone in and my outside seat-bone has actually been the one that's unevenly doing what I don't want it to.

Finally, we work on jumping! The jumps set up are around 2'3 to 2'6 and I'm asked to take one at a time at the canter but with the struggles I've had, I have issues getting the canter when I want and I have to circle a few times but that only seems to discombobulate me even more. At the end of the lesson, we determine that my jumping is coming along and that I'm able to get up after the landing, even if it's not very good, quickly but the flat work is where I fall short because let's face it, I can't take that long to pull myself together. In the hunter ring, you have a limited number of tries to recollect yourself before you're disqualified--I think it's once or twice to circle. In the good news department, +ADW has started cantering the jumps too!

Who thought that after all the flat work I've been doing lately hasn't quite translated into my transitions on the flat and being able to get going when I want to. Hopefully I get the opportunity to work on transitions on Thursday night...

Lesson #196 & 197: Human Banana

I worked on the same things during the last two lessons in an effort to continue to improve.

Trot

I started with flat work in trot at sitting trot, with and without stirrups. I've been working on this so much lately that I have had actual progress. To add to the complexity of this section of the lesson, we ride in the outdoor arena which has a course set up so we weave in and out of the jumps with lots of bending and circles. One thing I notice is that I seem to have an uneven seat that causes Ariel to counter bend and drift out of the arena. Often by the time I realized it was happening, it is too late to correct it and I struggled with looking like I was drunk while riding.

I need to get my positioning right and my lower leg needs to move back a bit and I have to sit up more... like a human banana bent backwards and not forwards.

Canter

Cantering transitions continue to be difficult as I can't find consistency in striking off. Sometimes we speed up at the trot or absolutely nothing happens unless I'm holding a bat/crop. However, I want to do this all properly, without the need for artificial aids. I am reminded to drop my inside seat bone while sitting the trot (or walk) and sweeping my outside leg back while sitting up and back. This is more than a mess at this point but I'll be continuing to work on it in the next lessons.

Same here, my positioning is the one thing that is most affecting my poor communication to Ariel. More thoughts on the human banana.

Jumping

I'm not sure why but I've felt like jumping these last two lessons so I took a few tries. I went with a single jump for now since it's courses that throw me off... the first jump has been fine and then I become a discombobulated mess following leading to an increasingly messy course. I took whatever jump was set up that was on the quarter line and I wasn't intimidated at all. I still need work on the approach but the actual point where we take off and fly over has been fine. J tells me that I've been going over the 2'3" jump without any hesitation so that's good! It's a matter of refinement and consistency while going over. Hopefully it'll come together again and I"ll be jumping those courses again.

The ride in, should incorporate the human banana but a 2-point isn't so much a human banana...

Goals

My goals for riding include the 2'3" course with consistency and getting my fitness levels up because my biggest barrier is actually my physical limitations and not so much mental. Opening up my hips and getting my back strong again will help me get into that human banana shape much more easily.

Lesson #193, 194 & 195: Dogged Determination

There hasn't been a lot to report on, in the last couple of weeks. That, and I spent an afternoon in the local ER due to a health related concern that I don't have answers to, quite yet. I'm not the type to worry until I know what there is to worry about... we'll know when I demand some tests from my regular doctor. In addition, whatever it was took me out for a week and I'm still having some difficulties being 100%.

But enough about the boring stuff that remains a mystery and out of my control; let's talk about the last 3 lessons! We focused on flat work. I hadn't been feeling up to any jumping and I wanted to gain some mastery with the sitting trot rather than continue to bounce around on top of Ariel. So away I went... lesson after lesson doing nothing other than sitting trot.

J pointed out that he knew when I was doing it wrong (that is, absorbing the motion incorrectly) when the pony tail hanging down my back was bouncing along with me. He reminded me to sit back (which feels like I'm leaning right back) and to absorb with my hips and abs. Apparently it's a momentary "on/off" contraction of muscles; as solid contraction or lack thereof would result in the incorrect motion. So around and around I went... with and without stirrups. Sometimes it was successful and other times (often) it wasn't. I also got into some canter just to keep things interesting and I practiced the dreaded figure 8 exercise that would have the transition of the lead at the centre of the figure. I determined to do the simple change since that was what I was struggling with in the past. I would say things were getting better since I was able to accomplish that when I asked (and when I was late, Ariel did the autochange for us). I also mustered the courage to canter without stirrups since several lessons ago, Sheri asked me to do it but I totally chickened out. I did it!! It started out as me losing my stirrup and going around without them. I came back down just fine so figured, this might mean I can do it without, period! It is tricky though... because it's easy to grip with your knees and curl forward because the horse is speeding up or you're getting nervous.

One of the things I did struggle with remains the smooth and consistent canter transitions as well as my own twisty body. Transitions remain tricky as I tend to lean forward when asking and thus putting Ariel on the forehand. I also wanted to get the transitions without the need for artificial aids like the bat/crop. Like most horses, Ariel sped up when her rider is holding one but I that meant that i was doing something wrong when she would speed up the trot or simply ignore me. I spent my lessons determined not to use them until I was pretty beat fighting with the mare. My twisty body added to the complications and I would torque outwards and so Ariel was doing the same counter bend. Actively telling myself to open up my chest and keeping my shoulders down and back was really challenging since all the other stuff needed my attention too.

During the last lesson, +ADW and I swapped things up again and I hopped on Molson while he practiced his sitting trot on Ariel (apparently the easier of the two). J teased me and said that if we were to do that, I'd need to jump on Molson. I felt more myself and confidently accepted the challenge. We didn't do anything exciting since anyone jumping with the "King of the Long Spot" usually would crap their paints after riding a horse like Ariel. Molson and I went off just fine even though he did his usual power up 3 strides into the jump and I did my usual "omg I'm going to die". We didn't do half bad considering I was crapping my pants up there but I needed to give him more of a release. Yea right. Give more release to a horse that tends to drop his front end. The trick to try? Place both my hands on his neck as we are coming into the jump to give him the release and to get my into the right position over. Worked like a charm! If you can maintain the courage not to pull back and just go with it.

So while it wasn't back with me jumping the 2'3" course, I did pull myself together enough to progress with the sitting trot and got over the fear of riding jumps with the Molson.

Lesson #190, 191, 192: Catching Up

This was a quiet lesson where it was just me, Ariel and Sheri.

I had a really good time with this lesson because we worked on me getting through some jumps on a small course level. After our warm-up, Sheri had designated two jumps for me to work on some course stuff. For the most part, things were going quite well but I continue to curl up a bit at jumps and as I'm reminded, that could go really badly if something goes wrong. I am running out of ideas to get me sitting up most of the time. Maybe it's my poor posture or something but I probably should get moving on that by now.

That said, two jumps that she reversed the direction and guess what? I took them in the same direction as before. *facepalm* We both knew what I did wrong and I chuckled, "this is why I won't show. I can't even remember a course of TWO jumps!" LOLOL. Of course, the reverse direction was a problem for me because it's the direction that both Ariel and I have issues with. It all starts with me, and then trickles to her because while she is capable, it doesn't take a lot to mess her up.

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My Saturday lesson was the lesson before heading out to Calgary Stampede. +ADW was already west so it was just me and another adult student. She was working solely on the flat and was in a dressage saddle. We both started a typical warm-up round and round and then I got started on a jump on a bending line (?) because it was placed at C along the rail so I had to take it while coming in on a bend and not straight away. It was a low jump but it went pretty well and I was rather pleased with myself! Not terribly exciting, this one... just one focus for the day. :)

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Our first lesson back was the following Saturday and we rode outside. I am not a fan of riding outside... I think it might be the wind rushing past you or the fact that Ariel gets easily distracted but I know I'm always on a slight increased level of alertness. And I'm sure the mare is picking up on that vibe and equally a little more buzzy.

I was hopeful though, that our trail ride during our visit to Banff would loosen up my hips. I did ride that trail ride in the mountains without stirrups for majority of it because my legs are so short that I needed the kiddie ones but they just weren't sitting right so I said screw it. More on that ride later. My hip was a little more put together and not feeling as tight as it usually does.

We did some small course work to just get me back into things but man was Ariel putting up a fuss. It was probably due to my twisted side not twisting properly and so I was like a human pretzel up there, trying to tell her to go one way only to be miscommunicating because it wasn't right the way mare wanted it. Fair... she's honest about being bang on and not making assumptions. Something I do pride myself on but also now realize that reading between the lines would be SO appreciated sometimes! :P

Lesson #189: Switch Up

The lesson on Saturday consisted of just me and +ADW puttering around the indoor. He got this idea to switch things up. Which isn't a bad idea as I have ridden Ariel pretty consistently and don't really get on any other horse. And of all the horses to do this with too, Molson. Not a bad idea. I've ridden Molson just once previously and I did so in the dressage saddle. ADW rode another pony named Angel once but the pairing was... awkward.

I hopped on all of the 16hh or so and ADW got on all of Ariel's short stubby 15.1 or 2 hh. He giggled and said he hasn't gotten on such a small horse since he started learning at the previous school. Ariel also has a short little neck so there is even less horse underneath you! The most noticeable difference is in the amount of contact that Molson demands of his rider. Ariel is most content with maybe 1-3 lbs of contact but Molson can take upwards of 20lbs. Talk about a big difference to adjust right at the get go.

We start the lesson with trotting and then canter. Molson's canter is bigger and is just different and I need to consistently take more contact so he knows what is being asked of him. There were moments that my contact would just disappear because he pulled me forward so I have to focus on maintaining that contact or he'd pull me down in the corners. I have never had to give more contact than Saturday. Not only do I have to consistently sit up and maintain the contact while encouraging him forward, I needed to remember that the falling on the forehand is a gradual process.

I was nervous, needless to say. But, J has a bunch of confidence in our abilities and the opportunity to try something different led to him say "let's jump this". I wasn't feeling  hot about the idea since I was struggling with the contact thing and fighting one of my biggest issues: leaning forward into the fetal position. Riding Molson brought a lot of attention to that fault of mine. We went over one nice low X jump at the trot and my pace was crawling so much that by the time he reached the base of the jump, he was practically at a stand-still and took off anyway. I am impressed I didn't go flying off. Sitting up REALLY does do wonders. We tried it several more times and each time I had to consciously make the effort to keep sitting up and thinking "we're going up hill" with the increased contact. He also has a reputation to power up just before the jump and that's just one more thing to consider and take into account. Riding him literally feels like you're riding a rocker launcher that pulls you forward. My two point didn't feel like a two point since I felt simply like I was sitting up... but I think it might have been the start to addressing some of my issues and gives me an idea of what I should be doing.

ADW on the other hand was puttering around on Ariel and he got the opportunity not to have to deal with the heavy forehand and the powering up towards the jump. They did really well too! He has the opposite problem from me where he has to reduce the contact BUT maintain the light contact which I find trickier than the opposite. It's easy to lose that contact or jossle the reins and that too, annoys Ariel. LOL.

That said though, Molson wasn't a big fan of me and did give me a few disagreements with his ears turned back and his shaking his head a few times. Perhaps another time I'll see how things go... it was a good change up that required each of us to change the approach we're used to.

Lesson #182: There's Always Something That Works Out

My Thursday lessons are typically jumping lessons. It was a good opportunity for me to practice more. I rode Ariel with the same intent that I told myself to have, when warming up and insisted on straightness at the trot. It was not easy because for whatever reason, while tracking right, she did a little bit of a counter bend that I felt like I was constantly pushing back into a straight line.

When we worked on the canter, I remembered a post I read earlier that week, about the sequence of aids to initiate the canter depart. It's a bit tricky for me because I generally don't sit back enough and my weight being on Ariel's front makes it difficult for her to spring up and forward. So this time, I told myself, half halt then lean back and proceed with the other aids. The transition was flawless and smooth. I managed to get this twice during the lesson and I felt awesome about myself.

The lesson is otherwise relatively straight forward in that we continued to the canter after warming up and then went to work on some courses. I kept it simple and just went with the Xs because I didn't feel that I was in the right shape to attempt more. It was a short course of 3 or 4 jumps and that's fine by me! It's funny because my consistency with jumps is and isn't there. What do I mean? When I was doing the course, I would seem to consistently have the same trouble with the same jump or the same corner. I should know better the second time and appropriately make adjustments so that it doesn't happen again. But for whatever reason, I was making the same mistakes again.

I did manage to canter this little course and to me, that progress is just fine. Some of those jumps were clean as a whistle and we both sailed right over and others were a mess. One mishap happened when we broke stride and I had difficulty getting Ariel back into the canter to complete the course. Sheri reminded me that when showing, I need to remember that a rider has a limited opportunity to pull themselves back together: circle twice and you better be moving again or you're OUTTA THERE. They really don't mess around! Good thing that wasn't a show and I'm just working on getting myself together.

Since most of the jumps were coming together in a reasonable fashion with minor mishaps, Sheri added in a single vertical jump and told me to take it at the end of the course coming towards home. That didn't go as I planned but I did make it over. My body is still sorting itself out in terms of figuring out where it needs to be, during the two point over. I'm sure that it'll come... I just need more practice with the verticals on a consistent basis to get the right feel.

Lesson #180: Puttering Around

Since +ADW and I were having our 'stay-cation' for the better part of the week, I told him to join me for my Thursday evening ride. We rode outside and for the most part, that was just fine (though I do prefer riding indoors for some reason...). It had rained previously so the ground was damp and the bugs were coming out...

Outside at the paddock, I greeted Ariel and she happily walked over (usually she just looks up and puts her head back down to continue eating) and while I was leading her to the stable, she saw a pile of hay on the ground and put her head down to try and get some but didn't seem to get her footing quite right and nearly toppled over herself -__-' This is going to be an interesting lesson, I bet.

Ariel was pokey and lazy this evening so I really had to push her along and keep on her to stick to the corners. The warm up was more of a challenge than usual in the sense that I had to keep pushing her along. Our canter was mildly uncomfortable for both of us and it was a little more on the stiff side for me because I wasn't giving with my lower back to swing with her motion and did create some counter movements against her.

Since we were riding with one of the young (more accomplished) riders, we got to do some jumping and it was inconsistently messy for me. Sometimes I was able to flow through the ride and other times I was struggling with just keeping Ariel straight. We missed a jump once and keeping in the corners as she was supposed to was a challenge too! She was cutting corners and falling in and pulling some jumper turns (yikes!). When we took turns with the courses, I moved Ariel off the rail onto the grass and at some point, her level of agitation was reaching a limit and I had difficulty getting her to re-enter the arena... to the point where one instance, she took us both into the indoor arena b/c she said "I've had enough of these bugs!". I was mortified. She not only made me feel like I was going to fall off, but it was clear she was taking over and Sheri had to come and get us both.

This mare has a way of teaching me to keep a thick skin...

To reassert my intentions and my status as leader of our little herd, I insisted her to get into the out door arena and then take a proper canter around the arena on my terms. Sheri firmly said, that that sort of behaviour is not acceptable and that Ariel needs to learn to suck it up and listen to her rider, not what she wants in this circumstance.

Lesson #176 & #177: For Every Good Lesson...

I swear the universe is very clear with me, to stay humble and keep my sight on the ultimate goal and not let hubris interfere.

Thursday's lesson had a young student (M) riding with me, who has been doing it forever. So, as usual, it's kind of intimidating... especially since her mom is also there. The people at the stable are really great so I never feel judged (even if they are, and that's okay!). This kid has been jumping well for some time but her pony was a little off this time around since a new pony mare has been challenging all the other horses! We kept it low and casual but still ended up jumping courses.

I am told to watch M's position during the canter and how she perches in a half seat with only her seat moving with her pony and her top half remains quite still. On the other hand, I'm all over the map so I focus to keep my upper body still. For some reason, it's physically more of a challenge than usual but I persist at it.

When we get into the course work, I have to remember to maintain the control and collection that is needed around certain corners. I also need to go straighter into the jumps. All things that will be worked on and will come in time. By the end of the lesson, Sheri congratulates me on the progress I've made... since I originally really wasn't too sure how far I'd get, to jumping full courses. A fantastic way to enter the end of the week (especially the week I had been having...).

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Onwards to Sunday's lesson. What a mess. LOL. I guess it was the Universe's way of reminding me that for every good lesson, there is bound to be at least one more not so great lesson. This was it. The warm up was fine until we were asked to move into the canter. I was really tight in all the wrong places this lesson so there I was, in corners pushing and demanding the canter from Ariel but she was having none of it and just sped up which distracts me and I start bouncing around more on there and leaning forward on her forehand--and making it difficult for her to get into the canter. Just one thing after the other!

I refused to add in the artificial aid of the crop so I continued to just push and push... I probably shouldn't be stopping if it isn't working but I admit I had to. Next time, I just need to pull myself together while bouncing around up there and not letting Ms. Ariel win!

As expected, the jumping suffered as well. I was unable to keep my heels down and thus landing on her neck. It was simply, a mess. But, I'm going to take away the need to ride it through and keep Ariel going because I'm going to be the one to win--not her. Sit back and just keep going.

Lesson #174: It ain't pretty, it just looks that way (for now)

Ariel seems excited to work this evening when I arrive because she's standing at the gate when I go out to her paddock to get her ready for the lesson. And we all know, this mare would rather be eating. I have a good feeling about things so we quickly get ready and hop into the arena to get started. The garage door is open so I ask if we could do some stuff outside (I'm itching to get out on a hack). J walks out with me to do a brief warm up in the outdoor arena. The outdoor is larger than the indoor so getting a 4 loop serpentine is very doable and because there is only a couple poles and a set of standards, there is plenty of room to get going. Immediately, Ariel is on high alert when we step outside and I see that she's looking every other which way. J says Ariel is not a fan of going out in the dark so it's my job to get her to recompose her horsey brain and relax.

What was that?!

My riding is definitely improving because it doesn't take long for me to calm Ariel down and get her brain back in check with being focused on what we're doing instead of being paranoid about every single rock, tree, rustle or corner. Once we're good there, I move into the canter around the arena and on the right rein, I experience difficulty balancing and keeping myself in check even though she's going at a good pace and just calmly moving forward. When a video is taken, we see that my lower back is just going against the motion and I seem to be "leading with my chin". I just need to recalibrate a bit more so that I'm not leaning forward as much and (surprise) relax my lower back. Although I knew I was struggling, it was helpful to have the video footage to see what I was doing.

It still isn't bright for as long of the evening so we return indoors and start on jumping. We waste no time and get right into it. I'm told to start on one jump at a time until we build up to 3 jumps. My main focus at this point is to keep my heels/weight down, especially upon the approach and remaining in a half seat. The rest of it doesn't look pretty, I'm sure but at this point, I know it's the main thing that I need to work on. The rest is details that will come together with more practice and refinement.

There is one thing that seems to give me trouble, during this lesson: I am coming off a jump towards K and I need to make a turn towards A then F but can't seem to get Ariel to ride straighter towards K and then make the appropriate turn without falling in. I suspected it is my seat that is becoming unhinged and causing her an inbalance that causes her to fall in. We know when I've done it wrong because she doesn't get enough space to get the balance to do the flying change in the corner. Sheri says, in the hunter ring, riders are expected to use the space so they can keep their horse balanced in corners and all that fun stuff--setting them up for success.

I try repeatedly until Sheri just gets up and becomes the barrier to the falling in. It is successful in the literal sense but not good enough for me because I needed an aid. I get off for the night remembering that I need to use my seat better to rebalance Ariel and myself when we are coming out of the jump.

Lesson #173: Mind Over Matter

Spring is here! Or at least we're getting real peeks into it. I was tempted to go on a hack on Sunday but when we got there, we're told J is teaching... usually J is the one we go on a hack with anyway but we discover that he broke his hand and is probably pretty sore from a bad fall during one of his jumper lessons with his coach. It sounded pretty messy and has reaffirmed my desire to keep things low key. He basically went left when his horse went right.

J's lessons are much different than Sheri's because he's just not as technical as she is. He's more about feel and experience. Both have the basics down but riding dressage for Sheri has her mind-set in a more technical area just because that's part of what is required to ride dressage anyway.

The objective today is course work. I have been starting our walking warm ups with loosening my hips and alternating my legs with Ariel's movement and I find that this helps and is certainly becoming more second nature. I wanted to get into a normal posting trot but Ariel decided she was more comfortable with a long and low trot so we started there instead.

We also rode with another young student who rides beautifully. I love to see when the more capable younger kids ride because it's such an inspiring thing to see. We all get into canter and go round several times and then get straight into our jumping. The course work is set up so that we build into the final course by taking one jump at a time to ensure our position is good and we are comfortable with the height. As I said, J's not as technical. This gives me the opportunity to aim for what he has asked but remember all the "tools" that Sheri has been giving me the last few weeks about seat and weight shifting. I am also becoming better at feeling when Ariel's pace is slowing or speeding up. And I certainly have to ride her body more than anything else because she's all wobbly and will bend and flex as she feels comfortable.

At least Deb is aware of what's going on now... --Ariel

The first jump was a ground pole with 3 strides into an X. I was our test guinea pig and was asked to do it at the canter. Usually Sheri works up to the canter because I continue to have the same faults about riding too far on Ariel's forehand so it is beneficial to take it slower. But it wasn't miserable and so I have to remember to focus on all the things that are my faults.

We work on adding more jumps and it goes from a ground pole with 3 strides into an X to a line with 2 Xs, then adding another X on the other side and then the second X in the line changed to a vertical. Finally, it became an X into a vertical and ended on a X. My faults remain the same... but this time, I do realize something... that the curling over onto Ariel's forehand is something that is actually second nature and if I don't consciously think about it, that's what I end up doing, instead of sitting up. It's not a matter of capability... but it literally is mind over matter.

This is very evident when I approach the first jump riding while sitting up but as soon as I land, I'm already curled over. It then becomes tricky for Ariel to gain balance appropriately and I notice we zoom around the arena coming out of it. It makes sense that she's trying to compensate for my balancing on her front so we both don't go over her head!

And here's a first for +ADW! He was asked to canter the line for the first time. Not to shabby considering he's never done it before. Hooray for firsts!

Lesson #172: More Jumping Progress

Although it's nice to have Thursday night lessons all to myself, it was a welcome change to have another rider in the class. This student rides her own horse and their focus this year (from what it sounds like) is jumper. The course that she was working on was pretty tough... the turn into one of the lines was really tight and she had to collect as she was coming into the line. Her position over fences is beautiful. It flows and she looks so effortless over the jumps.

I start my warm up and remember that in order to make use of my walk, I need to loosen my hips with Ariel's movements and flow with her while opening up the walk with alternating legs. Sheri asks me how I feel today and I mention that I feel tight--which is not a lie. Specifically, my calves are feeling tight, even though I shouldn't have a reason to have tight feeling calves. That said, I just think about keeping my heels down and loosening my hips and lower back. Sheri tells me to take my feet out of the stirrups and just relax and drop my weight down through my heels and just flow with Ariel's movements.

A few rounds and I take my stirrups back and start trotting around with the aim to have Ariel long and low and me: relaxed. This exercise has become far easier than it used to be when it was a struggle just for me to stay with her through my seat and body. Tensing up always made the situation worse, even though I tried not to.

That was fun but man am I tired now... --Ariel

Next, we're doing jumping today so a quick canter around and then I trot into an X. The X's are becoming less of an issue and so I add in a vertical. The vertical isn't high, but it does enough to cause me some grief. I am not sure if I'm not releasing enough, or if my heels are falling back, thus causing me to tip forward. Continuing, another X is added so that this mini course is becoming a sort of twisty loopy route. I am only relatively successful and I continue to have the same issue of curling forward and not being able to sit up between jumps. I seem to anticipate them and upon the approach, actually lean forward.

After a few more rounds with some degree of success, I am asked to complete the course by taking a vertical with some narrow fillers. I really had a good time with the jumping even though there is a bit of apprehension just before I get into it, each time. I still have the same vices where I tend to lean into the approach and my heels don't always stay firmly down but it is slowly improving since I"m not being thrown as much or getting left behind as often. It isn't pretty, but it is at least successful in making it over.

We cool out with lots and lots of bending and turning with the horses with their necks long and low to stretch out their backs after doing so many jumps. I take this opportunity to test my seat turning again.

Lesson #170: Leading with my Behind

During the warm-up for my lesson I focus on swinging my hips and alternating leg pressure to follow Ariel's body as she walks, to open up her walk. The arena is set up with 3 Xs lined up at D, X and G. The first exercise is trotting a figure 8 over the middle X. Since the exercise has us changing the rein on each loop of the 8, I really am forced to assess what's happening when we turn. Immediately, we noticed that as I am approaching X and pushing onto the right rein, Ariel does a funny drift with her shoulder; she's counter flexing as if she's going straight and drifting into the right turn as opposed to flowing into it with slight flexion. It happens again and Sheri tells me to step into my right stirrup just a smidge as I am going over the X. That works. We discover that I am myself, unbalanced going over so even though my eyes and head are turning, my seat isn't telling her that. She takes the middle X down and leaves it as a ground pole.

We continue and the exercise is made more difficult: I get off the rail and go over the two Xs at each end. The exercise is the small jump while turning and changing lead. I have to continue to push my weight down on the right side when  making that right turn. Sheri adds that I have to include the proper preparation with my legs too. We went through this exercise for the better part of the lesson with the focus on getting the turns to flow at the trot, as well as the jumping position over the Xs. Easier said than done! It's pretty rapid fire going like that and I have to keep Ariel at the trot and not speed off into the canter.

The last exercise is to get on bareback and continue the same exercise. *ugh*. We start at the walk... and then move into the trot *gulp* over the middle pole. At the walk, I was able to discover that I actually grip with my left butt when I turn right--which gives Ariel incorrect signals! I had no idea.... So now it's a matter of not doing that even though it's become quite second nature.

Oooo shake what yo' mama gave ya!

That exercise is finished up and Sheri tells me, finish the lesson on a completely loose rein and guide Ariel only by your seat. Ariel and I zig zag around the arena with my seat bones dropping into the seat, to tell here where we want to go. I use little leg and zero hands and focus only on dropping the appropriate seat bone. There is a fine balance here... because my hips and legs need to be in the maximum open relaxed position, to actually cause an impact. When my legs crawl forward a bit and I start "sitting more" on Ariel, she completely ignores me (more like has no idea what I'm asking of her). I literally have to shift my weight back down my heels and re-drape my legs over her back.

With some more practice, I end the lesson with the ability to turn Ariel at the walk, in a 10m circle with just my seat. Definitely learning so much!

Frame by Frame

Riding a horse is a dynamic balancing act. While other activities like gymnastics and yoga both test the athlete's balance in both a static and dynamic manner, riding a horse requires the balancing act of rider and mount be in sync with one another. While you're balancing yourself, you're also trying to coordinate your balancing act with that of the horse in a way where you don't interfere with their movements.

This is the first clinic I've participated in, where I'm actually riding. Because I only take lessons, it feels like another lesson with more "go". I got there early so was watching the previous session of girls going. These are the girls who have been riding for many more years and have a supple young body that can bend and move in more directions than mine can. They were jumping up to 3'3". Amazing.

My session turned out to be a single session with just me working on me stuff. It was really nice b/c I didn't have to worry about the other girls (who could be my kids :S) zipping past me flying over the jumps with ease. We started with flat analysis:

• I was asked to post trot on a 20m circle while being filmed. We discovered that I post with my upper body and not my hips... it looked like I was literally bobbing up and down. Focus: post with a loose hip and maintain upper body and still heels/legs.
• Next, canter on the 20m circle. The discovery was that not only is my seat out of sink and going against Ariel's motions but that I was leaning forward and my heels were penduluming back and forth causing the tipping. Focus: drop the weight into the heels and relax my hips.

I have the opportunity to "fix" these mistakes but it requires focus to release my hips and swing them back and forth in both the posting trot and canter. Next, over fence exercises:

• I start with an X jump followed by a canter pole. It is relatively clean and I have only one hiccup getting over it. The discovery here is that my heels aren't actually sinking enough and do come up and my leg swings back a bit. It isn't a major cause for concern but I focus on pushing my heels down coming into the jump.
• Next, add the vertical jump in place of the canter pole. This doesn't go too well. It is messy and I have trouble keeping a straight approach (I look a bit drunk :P). The landing isn't pretty but it isn't particularly messy either. The focus here is push weight into heels as we come into the jump
• Now, the second pole is raised and things start falling apart. My landings are poor and I end up on Ariel's neck often. Upon review of the videos, we discover that my legs swing back significantly and then I am pitched forward and hence the landing is messy and I'm even left behind in some situations. The focus is the lower leg position upon the landing.
• We continue the same jumps but try something different: come into the line in a half seat and nothing changes. There is improvement but I continue to have trouble with the landing and my leg position; it's as if I am trying to jump for Ariel instead of just staying still and letting her come up to me. J says, "think of your position needing to be in a position where if I snapped my fingers and Ariel disappeared beneath you, you'd land on your feet and not your face or arse". The focus here is most definitely keeping my legs, seat and weight over the same axis.

I really enjoyed this clinic because of the ability to review all my positions in each frame. The videos were slowed right down into frames where I could see exactly where things were going awry and what was happening. I have been wondering for some time now, why the bigger jumps cause me to fall on Ariel as opposed to landing appropriately. And now I see that my leg position is likely the cause to many of the errors that I am making. Perhaps another ride on Bons is what I need to "remind" my body where my leg and seat position need to be.

Lesson # 168: Just Practice

This was a really intense lesson. Ariel's part-boarder rides just before me on Thursday nights and I arrive as they are finishing up. That means Ariel is warmed up and I'm the only one who needs the warm-up. We dive right into the lesson and Sheri reviews some of the questions I had from the last lesson where I was asking about the difference in demands of the rider (and to an extent, horse) for the jumps with fillers and such. Simply, the fillers make the jumps a) more intimidating to the horse, so there is chance for refusal; b) they widen the jump so the horse is required to round over the jump and the air time is increased as well.

Instead of the normal posting trot warm-up, I'm told to ride the trot in a half seat and keeping my heels down. Add the 20m X and the 1 stride Xs at the same position. Sheri tells me that as I approach the fence, I need to look up and away and as I land, I have to sit up and think "canter away". My biggest issue is the landing where I seem to end up too far forward.

This entire lesson was an over fence lesson and we did little flat work. The focus was to get me practising to get over the jumps repeatedly to push my body into the position again and again to develop some muscle memory. As it stands now, my jumping over the low Xs is reasonably consistent and I also realized that "the voices" seem to stop when I approach those fences. Those jumps are becoming more "second nature" to me and am not phased by them.

*nom nom nom* Better at staying out of my way to let me do mah thing.

I am asked to go over the wall jump again and again (approximately 2'3") to get a consistent ride in and a good position over and following the jump. Added into this 'round robin' exercise, is the barrel jump which is sitting at around 2'6" and with the filler, trickier to get over. It isn't something I do well so we don't go over it multiple times. My confidence with the wall jump is much better and we focus on that. I do notice that my right leg tends to drift and doesn't remain firmly planted down. It makes sense since my right side has always been a little off and whatever is wrong is causing it to drift off at the jumps and affecting the outcome.

This lesson was intense in terms of the amount of jumping and I was pleased with the work that was accomplished. I enrol for the riding clinic on Saturday that will analyse our position at every possible task. It'll be interesting to see the finer details and pick apart everything. I am really looking forward to the clinic!!