Reflecting on my 'Summer of George'

My bad habit finally caught up with me and was amplified with a poor decision. Or maybe that's two bad habits that seemed to come together, only one has a change in the usual suspect...? Ladies and gents, I have been holed up at home for the last ~3 weeks because (wait for it...) I broke my knee (tibial plateau fracture) and wrist. My biggest baddest habit is looking down when riding a jump, which means my upper body collapses and follows. My other baddest habit is bailing last minute; except in this case, I actually bailed my mount. I'm neither happy or proud at the outcome.

I was riding on a Tuesday afternoon and been riding a horse who's attention span is maybe 10 seconds. He's capable, agreeable and a big suck so a good ride if you can sort yourself out with him, but I have been struggling with him after the BSJ and been unsuccessful. All the bad habits and fears and paranoia rears its ugly head when I ride him. But, I didn't take the tumble from him... it was from another bombproof solid been-there-done-it-all hunter mount. The line approach was perfectly fine but my upper body went down, my mind stopped riding, and I decided that it would be better to bail than pull myself together.

My own version of "summer of George"

After knee surgery and a hot pink fibre-glass cast, I have been forcibly admitted to my own "summer of George"; spending days indoors (not a bad thing with the temperatures we've been having), permanently in my pyjamas in the same chair getting caught up on a lot of TV and blogging. But, I had so much planned this summer and all of it has been dashed to pieces. Needless to say, I've been depressed on several occasions and I regularly have to be reminded by the ever patient and supportive +ADW that "LIFE HAPPENS" and at least I'll be getting better day by day--it isn't permanent, he'd add.

With all the new found free time, I have been reflecting (see, obsessing) about why I'd have two falls within a small time-frame. I'm not implying I was an amazing rider previously, but I was far more willing and confident about jumps, courses and anything else that was thrown at me when I rode. I rarely refused to ride a jump and wanted to learn everything and anything and a greener horse was not usually something that unsettled me either.

I tell myself it's not that I am incapable of riding... a few things come up though:

• Not reflecting on my lessons to determine what went well and what needs improvement--I've gotten complacent and stopped blogging regularly this year.
• Ignoring my developing physical limitations that hinder me, and not righting them with more fervor.
• Allowing negative self-talk to interfere with my self-confidence when riding.
• Expecting perfection without more work from myself.

I'm sure everyone can relate to at least one of the thoughts above, getting in the way of their own successes. It is my unwavering goal that I will take this lesson with enormity and rectify the 'wrongs' that I have let creep in. 

The Mental Game

I used to have way more confidence about going over course work but lately, I've been second guessing myself a lot. I'd ride into jumps that were more of a challenge than previously... maybe with a tighter approach or a higher rail. But, I started hesitating and checking out, last minute. For weeks, that hasn't been an issue as I would sort it out and get over it. Was I nervous? Every time, I approached the "big scary fence" (BSF) and you could see me tense and just second guess myself as I push to go over.

Both my instructors have said that it's mostly a mental game, to get through a course or whatever it is. An experienced instructor can make the assessment about whether or not the rider can actually accomplish the said jump/movement with the horse, so it's really just left up to the rider to get over themselves. The thing is, communication is split second fast so you really need to know what you're doing up there. When +ADW found out that I fell, he knew exactly what happened: I lost my nerve, hesitated and chickened out last minute.

The course work for the day was modest and I started the lesson with really good spirits and felt confident that the course was flowing. The first four jumps were great--I felt in control, knew where I was going and Bonsi followed me right through and it was fantastic. But, coming off the third jump, I knew I was getting nervous about that last jump--first mistake. Second mistake, I started to feel unbalanced and out of control and was panicking about bringing us back together. Third mistake, I checked out mentally and let Bonsi take over. You can see from the diagram below, the sequence of jumps laid out. I started panicking after jump 3. Then, the pink line shows where I deeked out last minute, instead of following through with the purple. I did manage it a few times prior, at the trot but the canter just freaked me right out.

After deeking out at E, I don't know what I was thinking (I wasn't) and we cut across the arena and then I wanted to go right but Bons knew that he simply couldn't fit between the wall and jump at B so that's where we parted ways and I flew into the wall and he continued towards M and C...

I'm physically tenderized and still recovering from the soft tissue damage sustained, when I slammed into the wall with my right shoulder and torqued my left knee. But the biggest challenge has been getting over BSJ mentally. The most recent lesson got me on Ariel and we were doing a couple low key jumps and again, I chickened out with a narrow jump that tests the accuracy of the approach (usually jumps are wide enough that there are few options to avoid them) and while nothing happened, it was definitely a flash of emotions and thought processes. I have gone over and over again, in my head, the approach of that BSJ that unseated me and I know I could have gone over it just fine... if I just committed to it and rode through. It isn't the first time I've had to recollect myself after a messy jump.

My heart wants to do it but my logical brain is repeatedly reminding me "oh no you can't! That's scary." I'm reminded of another part of my life where the goal is long-term and I have to keep my eye on the prize and not get distracted and make any last minute decisions away from my goal. Sure, the "jump" might not be pretty, but I have to try and do it anyway. If it's an epic fail, so be it. I gotta get into the (mental) game.

Tomatoe, tomato

I am not a hugger.

The thought of wrapping my arms around another is not my idea of a happy social exchange (a hand-shake will suffice, thank you!). But, the things I've been learning with Bonspiel is the way he prefers to communicate--particularly important for our right sides. Unfortunately for us, we are both weaker on the right side and need work and focus. Meet my new buddy, Bonspiel:

Bons loves to pose for the camera! #bluesteel

A photo posted by Deborah (@my_examined_life) on Jan 16, 2016 at 9:31am PST

Sheri told me I was gonna work; I wasn't working hard enough and that was the problem. We're talking not hard at all apparently. Horseback riding isn't easy no matter what non-riders will yap about. It's also (as riders know) not so much about what you do with your hands as it is your seat and/or legs.

First, warm-up require more transitional work and bending lines to get us warmed up properly and limber. Exercises like alternating walk to trot, each with a known number of steps while being as precise as possible as well as keeping our impulsion at each transition is key. With a horse like Bonspiel, when things don't go right, it's very clear that it's the rider's botch up because he is trained impeccably to do exactly what he's told. If you don't get that canter just right, that's the your fault. WOMP WOMP. Other exercises include balancing at the trot in a standing position without using our stirrups as crutches and focusing on actual lower leg support to steady ourselves.

It's reiterated that with this horse, it's about support with your legs at every step. "He needs it", Sheri tells me, "you gotta hug and support him so he can do it right. Otherwise you're just dropping him and that's why he falls out of (in this case) the canter". As I pointed out earlier, I'm not a hugger, but I have to learn to 'hug' with my legs--from my thigh to the lower leg without pinching at the knee while maintaining a fluidity through the hip and back. At first I don't really get what she means but when we canter around both in the whole arena and the 20m circle, it is evident when I "drop" him: we see that my right thigh actually is the culprit and that is the part of my leg hug that is dropping Bonspiel and not giving him support to continue to canter around. I do test the comment and pay attention to my leg position and notice that he immediately drops from canter (at the right) when I lose momentary contact with him at the thigh. Unfortunately,  my movement with him isn't 100% and in the canter movement where he is moving down and forward, I am already moving back on "up".

These are all things I had difficulty with when I was riding Ariel and still sorting out what it meant to rider her proficiently. I am seeing that while these two horses require a different "touch", some things will remain constant. I figure it's like learning a language but understanding the different "accents" of those speakers.

Next Challenge: Bons

I typically don't wait so long after lessons because don't remember details of what took place! The biggest change is that Ariel is out of commission for me, after it was noticed that she's jumping a little "flat"/long and she seems to be just a bit "off". She's sound and that isn't so much the issue but it looks like she's a little sore or just plain cranky since she's become quite in demand! That said though, we change things up and I am given a choice of Bonspiel or Molson. Both move similarly in that they get heavy on the forehand and require a bunch of face contact--totally unlike Ariel who is mostly uphill and wants you to leave her face alone.

That's not the most intimidating part: the fact that both are 2 hh'r than Ariel proves to be an intimidating feature for me. The first ride was terrifying for me. I was literally shaking in my booties when I went to get Bons (who is closer to 1200lbs+) in the paddock and bring him in. Tacking up was also a feat because the last time I attempted it, the saddle was placed on his kidneys. *womp womp womp*

The first lesson with Bons was all about just getting a feel for his movement and the way he communicates with his rider. He's changed a lot since I last rode him--he's more confident in himself and he's become (to me) less bouncy. I don't find his gait nearly as floaty and big as I have in the past. The sitting trot is still really tough to ride but I manage much better.

As lessons pass, I become much more confident with learning to ride his movement and anticipating his short-comings like his difficulty on the right rein. Riding a larger horse who is impeccably trained since he was a baby is a real treat because he has exact buttons but at the same time, he may or may not read between the lines and take a gander at what I might want of them at the time.

Quite a few lessons have passed since I started riding Bonspiel and I'll be sticking with him for now. Both Sheri and J have told me that the match is good and I will likely learn much more riding Bons than sticking it out with Ariel unless I can tame that 'tude. Bons requires more contact in the reins and is a fancy pants sport-horse so I would effectively be "moving forwards" into a new challenge that would continue to challenge my riding.

Lesson #214, 215, 216: Gridwork After an Updated Perspective

Lately, I have less time than lately: I have a new job, hooray! In an effort to keep records for myself, all I can really remember from these three lessons is that I was working on jumping position through gridwork. I'm not sure if I'm the only one out there but I *heart* gridwork tonnes.

Gridwork is a progressive training system that uses poles and fences set at 
pre-determined distances. It teaches a horse to be athletic, accurate, quick thinking and confident; while improving their rhythm, balance, reactions, style and technique. Equally, it helps riders with their confidence, sense of rhythm, balance and distances. Sometimes it's easy to forget about good technique when you start doing courses--especially if you have some bad habits that you're trying to keep in check.

The various grids set up were all fences of varying distances and heights. No oxers or anything out of my comfort zone since I was focused on position riding into, over and out of jumps. The grids were simply set up on a straight line so there was no need to consider corners either! All we were thinking about was the ride in and the position over jumps. Ariel and I did pretty well and I was pleased with the way things turned out because I didn't have to concern myself about the turns and I was just focused on getting through a series of jumps and not a full course.

Again, pretty straight forward but I definitely have a different perspective following my lesson with A.

Lessons # 210, 211, 212: More Doldrum...

As I mentioned in the last lessons post, nothing noteworthy has been happening and so I haven't found the motivation to post anything. I continue to work on the same things as position and whatnot, over jumps but nothing significant has come out of it so far. I continue to consider the things I am not doing right:

• I'm too handsy when I should be using seat and leg aids
• I am stubborn about using spurs or the crop/bat
• I find myself tending to one seatbone sometimes
• I don't open my chest up enough in corners and don't actually turn my shoulders--hence part of the counter-bending

The only interesting thing has come out of the lessons lately is that I had the opportunity to ride the last 10 minutes or so of a lesson, on Sheri's fancy pants dressage horse, Blue. He's humongous and has so many of those "fancy buttons" like leg yielding at a touch. Riding his strides is like learning all over again b/c if I thought Bons was floaty, this guy is even more so. Certainly, we saw a lot of the issues I've been having, manifesting very clearly while on Blue because he's just SO responsive.

Hopefully if I just am continually diligent about the exercise, I'll see some improvement.

Lesson #208 & #209: Frustrated Enough to Motivate

I haven't written about the last two lessons because nothing has really progressed and there hasn't been any "a-ha" moments either. I am working on jumping courses again but I'm finding myself struggling with my position over jumps, again. While it isn't a big deal... I've been doing courses at a lower height so I feel like I've regressed a bit. It's more injury to the ego than actual regression so I'll take it... for now.

I have been anticipating the jumps recently and I notice that's what's keeping me behind and a poor position. I suspect it's got to do with Ariel's recent stint of counter bending and giving me way more trouble in the arena than I'd like. I haven't let it escalate and she hasn't dragged me out of the arena on her whim, but I'd still like to get that respect back. As well, I seem to have trouble keeping our corners deep. This causes a poor set up usually and it is yet another cause to the issue over fences.

The flat work is mostly fine (it can always be better) but I have had trouble getting Ariel to respect my aids. I might have to resort to crops/bats and spurs again... which I don't really enjoy using but if Ariel is getting a bit sour with poor communication from her rider, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the reasons she's reacting the way she is. I don't blame her either... having clarity during a conversation about what to do is awfully important in my books.

As with all things to do with riding, it starts with the rider and I have been talking my mouth off on this area periodically for some time. I make excuses all the time but in order to get over my rut (both in riding and other areas), I will incorporate a balanced schedule and include other physical activities. Upon further reflection and not enough research, I started the BeFit's 30 Day Fat Burn workout that ScarletPen28 has done. Each video is approximately 10 minutes.

Click to enlarge

Scarlet did this one and another combined; she's crazy. I can only manage this one right now... after doing day 1, I still can't feel my legs and part of my arse. I'm not sure whether to love or hate her for finding this thing. Tonight, I attempt the Cardio Extreme workout. If you don't see another post in the next few days, know that I probably didn't survive that video (10 minutes!! :O) and that +ADW found me curled up in the fetal position in the basement.

Lessons #205, #206, #207: Reinvigorating Goals and Direction

There isn't much to write about with the last few lessons other then I've been working on addressing the right side issue that we discovered 2 weeks back. I try to ride with my right hip relaxes and the leg "falling outwards" so I can keep that in check. It seems that once that hip pulls my right leg in, the rest of my right side follows and that's where the curling inwards comes from. So my lessons are mostly me making the conscious effort to go through the check list at all gaits:

1. Weight in the heels/heels down
2. Right hip open and relaxed so the thigh is off the saddle
3. Hips and lower back relaxed to absorb the movement
4. Chest open and shoulders back and 'down'
5. Looking in the direction I am turning, even for corners
6. Shoulders following my head turn
7. Sitting back/up

Things are coming together more as I am making the conscious effort to ensure that the hip doesn't allow my right leg to collapse. It's really easy to get handsy in the corners instead of using my seat to push Ariel back out and on the right bend.

On Thursday, there were 2 other students in my class and one of them is still working up to getting comfortable with things so it was a good opportunity to focus on flat work. I felt ambitious (though to be honest, I did tell myself I needed to use the time more efficiently) and started weaving in and out of the bending poles that were just standards set in a line. This exercise is difficult even at the walk because you want to use your seat to turn them and not your hands/reins. 

The warm-up consisted of a series of different tasks that for some reason, I felt very comfortable flowing from one to the next...

• Posting trot with and without stirrups
• Sitting trot with and without stirrups
• Adding 2 point position
• Cantering with and without stirrups
• Cantering in a 2 point position
• I even managed to sort myself out to pick up and drop stirrups during canter! A feat that usually leaves me tight and bouncy

On Sunday, I had +ADW pick what we'd do since I usually get to pick on Thursday nights already and I wasn't feeling particularly nervous about anything. I'm glad the picked an over fences lesson because I had done quite a few flat classes recently. We did things pretty low key and kept the jumps low so to get a better feel of the horses' movement over jumps. The lesson went quite well in that we were jumping the course and ended on the highest jump that was set out there at around 2'3" to 2'6". It wasn't pretty which simply means I need to continue working up on the things that I am doing at the lower heights so I am more solid.

Areas of improvement include, but are not limited to:

• Sitting back up between jumps
• Shift our hips back instead of jumping with the horse, over jumps
• Using the space in the arena better so we can appropriately set ourselves up for the jumps
• Looking early for the jump
• Drive with our butts coming into the jump

Hopefully I'll be as diligent with my most recent lessons, for the coming ones so I can continue to improve upon the things I lack. In addition, I am going to be starting ScarletPen's 30 day bottom challenge to address a possible weak backside and start getting in a 45-60 minute yoga session 2-3 times a week. And now that the weather is cooled down, it might not be a bad idea to jump on my bike...

Lesson #204: Quasimodo

The traffic I deal with on week nights really makes me question why I go up in the evenings... especially since right now, I don't work. It took me 30 minutes more than usual, to get up last night. I left early with the hopes that I would have some time to mosey on in. I was SO WRONG. I was even late this time and had to run out into the rain to get a sopping wet Ariel from her paddock and quickly tack up.

Another new student joins the class today. This girl looks to be in her teens and she's returning to lessons after taking time away from riding. That said, I figure it's going to be a pretty low key lesson so I can work on my canter transitions.

After a varying warm-up of posting trot, sitting trot with and without stirrups, I am directed into the canter. The other girl seems to pick it right back up and has no problems at all. I, on the other hand, am struggling with keeping Ariel out at the rail on the right rein and she's falling in and the corners are just plain ol' botched up. I am certain that it has to do with me because as is most of the time, it's a poor rider that gives poor results. Especially with a horse like Ariel who is not particularly forgiving about miscommunication from the rider. While Ariel knows her job and loves to jump (she hates to bend... haha), she demands that her rider is properly clear with her so that she too so that everything flows. After all, the communication means that the rider is giving appropriate physical signals and staying balanced.

It's pointed out I'm using too much rein with the outside one trying to redirect her. Sheri directs me to break down the canter in the arena: trot the long sides and canter going into the corners. Then progressively going into the opposite pattern. The departs and downward transitions are bang on and there is mostly no issues when I'm doing the canter in pieces. It is pointed out to me though, that the cause of the falling in/bad corners is my right side curling in at the corners (I KNOW!!! UGH) and my right leg gripping and coming out of the seat. Seriously, the left side is perfectly fine and that's how my right side should be but isn't. I don't know the cause but I do have to take extra care to keep my chest open and right leg relaxed as much as possible.

I swear I was so frustrated but equally relieved I figured out what the issue is. So now comes the work each and every minute of every single lesson following....

Lesson #203: Seeing the Curve

Saturday's early morning lesson had me working on more jumping but with +ADW. Similar, to the Thursday lesson but two friends joined to watch the lesson because I'm hoping (fingers crossed!!) that at least one of them would decide to take up lessons too. I'm not normally a particularly social person and I enjoy yoga because I can go at my pace and know that I'm my own competitor, but sometimes do find that riding can be a wee bit lonely. ADW rides with me but let's face it, he isn't as "into it" as I (and some of you!) are. So it's nice when adult students join classes--that's what my current Thursday nights are for!

Anyway, the lesson we do is a jumping lesson with J and we spend less time than recently, on the flat. Ariel has been a bit pokey and one of the things I struggle with is picking up the canter when I ask. Sometimes Ariel flat out refuses to move even though I've told her to; it takes a more severe method of reinforcement in those cases. We get right into the jumping. I take a jump (red) on the diagonal but close to the rail and have trouble 'seeing' the ride-in. I don't ride the corner as deep as I should and sometimes come in at a much more gradual curve which leads me to be more handsy.

Totally not drawn to scale... hahaha...

There is still a struggle to get the ride-in just right but it isn't miserable and so we do move onwards to adding more jumps to the course until I ride all the jumps in the arena. I try my best to sit back up once I get through a jump because I have literally ridden more and more forward as the course goes on and as we all know, getting your centre of gravity forward and up is a great way to set yourself up to land on your face.

I didn't mention yet... that ADW is now cantering multiple jumps too!! He's riding a steady gelding who's a great teacher!

Lesson #202: Interspersion

My Thursday class was a jumping lesson in the outdoor sand arena with one of the student's mom who's taking lessons as well. It's her second jumping lesson apparently but honestly, you wouldn't think so.

The start of the lesson has us warming up with the trot and then I move into a sitting trot without stirrups. I still find I have the best balance without stirrups since there's something wrong with my right hip and it tends to collapse at the knee without me consciously thinking about it. I don't know what muscle is causing the issue but it is the biggest issue at this point in time.

Then J says to canter without taking back the stirrups around and around. Ariel and I have a really good lesson. She is responsive and quick without fussing and objecting. To level up this exercise (after taking back the stirrups), we are asked to hold 2 point (jumping) position while placing our outside hand behind the small of our back. The objective is to get our upper body position up and open while our hips go back. This is not too tricky a task which surprises me because I thought I would have difficulty balancing and keeping the turns.

Finally, we move into over fence work. Starting with one is just fine. My position over is mostly good and I don't have major issues. Then we start adding more jumps to create a mini course. One couple of jumps is a line on the diagonal and J reminds me that the middle is flat work and that there is little time to think about much else but to sit up. I have trouble with doing that. For some reason, all my mind can think about is "let's get into a forward position and just hold it". WHY??? Ugh. So I have to really intentionally think about sitting back up in between the jumps. My course work is certainly improving but I have to remember that the flat in between jumps should be ridden as such and "preparing" for all the jumps with a forward position isn't doing me any favours.

Lesson #201: Drunkie Pony

Writing this post is exciting for me because this lesson marked a milestone for both +ADW and myself. Ariel and Hank were both showing so I asked to be surprised with our mounts. J brings in two new geldings who recently joined the herd. One belongs to the rider I rode with last lesson and the other is a new pony meant for beginners... I got the pony (*squeeee!* I love ponies!!). Indie is a gentle pudgy sable coloured (that's like a medium brown? I'm not well versed with equine coat colours) pony with a voluminous mane.

It's the first time we got on horses where we know little background. Who knew if they'd be real jerks or spooky and skittish. In addition, without understanding their training, we didn't know what they'd be capable of doing. One of the things discovered so far is that both are wary of the mounting block. I was successful to get Indie to the mounting block so I took that small victory as a win.

First Impressions
Indie is happy with a light hand and he seemed eager to walk forward but appeared tense about having me on his back. He also required little leg and responded as soon as I applied my leg. I was asked to get him off the rail so he wasn't using it as a crutch in place of listening to my directions. Let me tell you... this pony walks like he's drunk!! LOL. He's fine to bend and turn but walk a straight line? GOOD LUCK. Without trying, we ended up doing some hind in, shoulder-fore, leg yields... It was hilarious to watch, I'm sure, but my legs were constantly trying to remind him to walk straight.

Sewing Machine Trot
His trot is bouncy like a sewing machine and he speeds around the arena when I use too much hand. Needless to say, I am a bit of a hot mess up there leaning forward and bouncing on his back trying to sort us out. There are moments of being in sync and I'm told we move well together when it's right. After getting sorted out, we're directed to go over trot poles and I have to man-handle him to stay centred (and not avoiding the entire exercise!) and he even stopped once as if to say "what the heck do you want me to do!?". J said that greenies are generally even more wriggly.

A small X was set up and at the start of the lesson, I really was not feeling so confident about getting over it. Literally, we're talking like maybe 4-6" from the ground and some horses will consider that height an insult to their abilities and will trot over it or plain ol' bowl through it. But, after success with the trot poles, I decide to go for it. I mean with such a small pony, the fall wouldn't be far and we seem to be starting to understand one another. Another win when we both get over a few times with success.

Getting Balanced
Mid-way through the lesson, the other horse starts getting unruly and even J has trouble with him when he hops on, to "win the fight". Indie and I move onto the canter now. With minimal expectations, I tell him to get into a canter and guess what? It's not too shabby either!! It's no Grand Prix Dressage display but the correct lead was picked up (though at times I wasn't too sure, with that much mane covering his shoulder) and we went round a few times. Poor pony is not fit enough to sustain it long so we go half way around and putter out.

Fight Club!
After working on all that, Indie starts defying my asks, pulls at the reins, backing up, shaking his head, stopping and all that fun stuff *sigh*. This might be the most exercise he's gotten and he's starting to protest to the amount of work and you can see he's quite sweaty too. I likened him to the chubby guy who has done for his first work out, despite not wanting to. J tells me that I just need to keep him moving forward at my insistence, regardless of gait. Thanks to Ariel, I'm no stranger to a cranky horse who is trying to take over so the 'fight' ensues... hopping, reverse, refusals... we weren't sure if I'd finish walking the arena!

To reward him for complying for our awesome small victory, I hop off and we walk the arena to cool him off. He's actually a little pushy (needy) and I have to remind him to respect my space and by the end, it's not half bad and he follows me around with his head lowered and I am able to keep my space!!

Lesson #200: Whips, Crops and Progress

I had a Thursday lesson in the outdoor jumping arena with one of the other youngsters. She just got a new horse (went from bossy mare pony previously) to a new gelding. He's still new so I don't know a lot about him. I pulled Ariel from her paddock and she's covered in mud despite only having been on there for about 30 minutes and wearing a fly sheet. Seriously. After getting right in those nooks and crannies, I saddled her and we went off to the outdoor. For some reason, it was a super busy night (usually it's just me and MAYBE one other) so both indoor and outdoor were being used.

I incorporated bending and circles into the trot warm up but noticed that my right leg tends to hug Ariel too much and she ends up leaning on my leg. During one circle, she leaned so much on my leg that she tripped--not something that typically happens. She's also more pokey and slow than usual probably because she's got a slightly heavier work load with all the kiddies wanting to ride and show her!

The rest of the lesson is mostly just working on the flat at trot and canter and transitions. I have been doing yoga this past week and notice that my balance and whatnot is better and I'm able to initiate the canter transitions more effectively. I suppose it helps that I had a dressage whip too. BTW, I didn't realize that the way to use a dressage whips is different than a crop/bat!

Riders generally know this but for those who read the blog and aren't aware... there is a continuum of severity in communicating with your horse. It's like I was always told to ask, ask louder, demand. I personally prefer not to use one because I find it distracts my position but some days, I need extra help.

Top: dressage whip; below: crop/bat

Crop/Bat: after asking and asking louder, you can demand your request with the bat/crop by angling it towards the shoulder and tapping them with it. And if that doesn't work and you need more go, get that thing behind your leg and give them a good smack with it. Nobody (including horses) like getting hit so they'll likely move forward.

Dressage whip: you hold this piece on your thigh and when you require the "demand", you simply lift it and tap it against your leg because it's flexible enough to 'kiss' their hinds to get them moving. When you're not using it, you want to avoid accidentally tapping them so direction is down a bit, against your thigh. With the dressage whip, your position remains more consistent since you're not moving your arm as much.

Back to the lesson: I tried to maintain the canter without breaking so I have to remember to sit back when I ride and not lean forward. Continuing on the flat work, I am asked to do some leg yield and wow, what a hot mess for both of us!! It isn't a very successful portion of the lesson and I'll need to come back to it another time.

To finish the lesson, I am asked to do some jumping of single jump. The first one I take is a nice low one where the pole is placed on the seat of two patio chairs (so not all that high but a good start). My first try was actually quite successful and I felt good about it. J asked me to move it up a notch and try the two wood crates/boxes that are about 2'6 in height and also a source of anxiety formerly. I am really happy to report that that jump didn't phase me at all and while my position is still a work in progress, I didn't freak out while riding into the jump and my recovery following a poor position was quick.

Lesson #199: Flat Work Faults

Our lesson on Saturday saw us get back into jumping. We've been taking it kind of easy lately so it's exciting to get back into jumping. We started the lesson with the usual trot warm up and focus on bending and keeping our corners nice and clean. We also do some exercises with downward transitions where I don't allow Ariel to just fall into the transition down. This is tough because I have to collect Ariel and sometimes it doesn't feel like anything is actually happening or my back starts to seize and I lose that movement with Ariel. I seem to only get that movement when I really concentrate on sitting trot but when I try to initiate anything else, I go from going smoothly with Ariel's movement to bumpity bumpity bump and things start falling apart.

Canter transitions upwards continue to be a struggle because my movement with Ariel contradicts when I try to initiate it and my upper body falls forward and Ariel simply speeds up. It's tricky but I have to get myself to sit back so far that it feels like I'm leaning back. The main initiator is the inside seat-bone but lately I've been having trouble getting that seat-bone in and my outside seat-bone has actually been the one that's unevenly doing what I don't want it to.

Finally, we work on jumping! The jumps set up are around 2'3 to 2'6 and I'm asked to take one at a time at the canter but with the struggles I've had, I have issues getting the canter when I want and I have to circle a few times but that only seems to discombobulate me even more. At the end of the lesson, we determine that my jumping is coming along and that I'm able to get up after the landing, even if it's not very good, quickly but the flat work is where I fall short because let's face it, I can't take that long to pull myself together. In the hunter ring, you have a limited number of tries to recollect yourself before you're disqualified--I think it's once or twice to circle. In the good news department, +ADW has started cantering the jumps too!

Who thought that after all the flat work I've been doing lately hasn't quite translated into my transitions on the flat and being able to get going when I want to. Hopefully I get the opportunity to work on transitions on Thursday night...

Lesson #198: Winning!

The show season is in full swing and this season, Ariel's been doing amazing! She's placing at every show she's gone to and now all the kiddies want to ride her and take her to their show. Which means I have a somewhat slow and pokey pony some days b/c she'd rather be out in her paddock bossing around the other horses. Despite that, I have been diligent with keeping on top of my game with her and reminding her who's boss because I don't want another "incident" like the last.

We had another flat lesson just putzing around the outdoor going over canter poles and focusing on position and balance and all that fun stuff. I was also determined to not need the crop/bat, again so I was pretty serious with the mare right from the get go, about what we were doing. I admit, I am getting tired of kicking her to get us going when she's ignoring me but sometimes it has to be done.

The sitting trot was pretty good, and it's the first time in a few weeks that Sheri's taught my lesson and she commented that things are looking pretty good! I said that I was pretty determined the last several lessons and focused on the flat quite intensely. My hips are moving the way they should, now... and I'm not bouncing around as much and not leaning forward. But it still requires a conscious effort b/c it's simply easier not to do all that.

Then we get into canter and changed the trot poles into canter poles on the long side. My canter transitions continue to need a lot of work... We are still chasing her into the transition and she's counter flexing. I am SURE it's because of me... but what that is? I have yet to figure out. We do manage to get into the transition eventually but usually with really big mess up there. Then my right foot manages to fall out of the stirrup and so I decide to toss both and just ride it. Sheri asks me if I did so intentionally and I caught a smile crack when I told her that I managed to canter without stirrups a couple lessons ago! She laughed and said that it was pretty good considering I chickened out last time! hehe

Despite being a low key lesson, I found that there was both progress and some consistent struggles. I would hope that we might amp it up next lesson and I'd start doing some more technical things, really focusing on transitions or doing a few jumps to get me back into it.

Lesson #196 & 197: Human Banana

I worked on the same things during the last two lessons in an effort to continue to improve.

Trot

I started with flat work in trot at sitting trot, with and without stirrups. I've been working on this so much lately that I have had actual progress. To add to the complexity of this section of the lesson, we ride in the outdoor arena which has a course set up so we weave in and out of the jumps with lots of bending and circles. One thing I notice is that I seem to have an uneven seat that causes Ariel to counter bend and drift out of the arena. Often by the time I realized it was happening, it is too late to correct it and I struggled with looking like I was drunk while riding.

I need to get my positioning right and my lower leg needs to move back a bit and I have to sit up more... like a human banana bent backwards and not forwards.

Canter

Cantering transitions continue to be difficult as I can't find consistency in striking off. Sometimes we speed up at the trot or absolutely nothing happens unless I'm holding a bat/crop. However, I want to do this all properly, without the need for artificial aids. I am reminded to drop my inside seat bone while sitting the trot (or walk) and sweeping my outside leg back while sitting up and back. This is more than a mess at this point but I'll be continuing to work on it in the next lessons.

Same here, my positioning is the one thing that is most affecting my poor communication to Ariel. More thoughts on the human banana.

Jumping

I'm not sure why but I've felt like jumping these last two lessons so I took a few tries. I went with a single jump for now since it's courses that throw me off... the first jump has been fine and then I become a discombobulated mess following leading to an increasingly messy course. I took whatever jump was set up that was on the quarter line and I wasn't intimidated at all. I still need work on the approach but the actual point where we take off and fly over has been fine. J tells me that I've been going over the 2'3" jump without any hesitation so that's good! It's a matter of refinement and consistency while going over. Hopefully it'll come together again and I"ll be jumping those courses again.

The ride in, should incorporate the human banana but a 2-point isn't so much a human banana...

Goals

My goals for riding include the 2'3" course with consistency and getting my fitness levels up because my biggest barrier is actually my physical limitations and not so much mental. Opening up my hips and getting my back strong again will help me get into that human banana shape much more easily.

Lesson #193, 194 & 195: Dogged Determination

There hasn't been a lot to report on, in the last couple of weeks. That, and I spent an afternoon in the local ER due to a health related concern that I don't have answers to, quite yet. I'm not the type to worry until I know what there is to worry about... we'll know when I demand some tests from my regular doctor. In addition, whatever it was took me out for a week and I'm still having some difficulties being 100%.

But enough about the boring stuff that remains a mystery and out of my control; let's talk about the last 3 lessons! We focused on flat work. I hadn't been feeling up to any jumping and I wanted to gain some mastery with the sitting trot rather than continue to bounce around on top of Ariel. So away I went... lesson after lesson doing nothing other than sitting trot.

J pointed out that he knew when I was doing it wrong (that is, absorbing the motion incorrectly) when the pony tail hanging down my back was bouncing along with me. He reminded me to sit back (which feels like I'm leaning right back) and to absorb with my hips and abs. Apparently it's a momentary "on/off" contraction of muscles; as solid contraction or lack thereof would result in the incorrect motion. So around and around I went... with and without stirrups. Sometimes it was successful and other times (often) it wasn't. I also got into some canter just to keep things interesting and I practiced the dreaded figure 8 exercise that would have the transition of the lead at the centre of the figure. I determined to do the simple change since that was what I was struggling with in the past. I would say things were getting better since I was able to accomplish that when I asked (and when I was late, Ariel did the autochange for us). I also mustered the courage to canter without stirrups since several lessons ago, Sheri asked me to do it but I totally chickened out. I did it!! It started out as me losing my stirrup and going around without them. I came back down just fine so figured, this might mean I can do it without, period! It is tricky though... because it's easy to grip with your knees and curl forward because the horse is speeding up or you're getting nervous.

One of the things I did struggle with remains the smooth and consistent canter transitions as well as my own twisty body. Transitions remain tricky as I tend to lean forward when asking and thus putting Ariel on the forehand. I also wanted to get the transitions without the need for artificial aids like the bat/crop. Like most horses, Ariel sped up when her rider is holding one but I that meant that i was doing something wrong when she would speed up the trot or simply ignore me. I spent my lessons determined not to use them until I was pretty beat fighting with the mare. My twisty body added to the complications and I would torque outwards and so Ariel was doing the same counter bend. Actively telling myself to open up my chest and keeping my shoulders down and back was really challenging since all the other stuff needed my attention too.

During the last lesson, +ADW and I swapped things up again and I hopped on Molson while he practiced his sitting trot on Ariel (apparently the easier of the two). J teased me and said that if we were to do that, I'd need to jump on Molson. I felt more myself and confidently accepted the challenge. We didn't do anything exciting since anyone jumping with the "King of the Long Spot" usually would crap their paints after riding a horse like Ariel. Molson and I went off just fine even though he did his usual power up 3 strides into the jump and I did my usual "omg I'm going to die". We didn't do half bad considering I was crapping my pants up there but I needed to give him more of a release. Yea right. Give more release to a horse that tends to drop his front end. The trick to try? Place both my hands on his neck as we are coming into the jump to give him the release and to get my into the right position over. Worked like a charm! If you can maintain the courage not to pull back and just go with it.

So while it wasn't back with me jumping the 2'3" course, I did pull myself together enough to progress with the sitting trot and got over the fear of riding jumps with the Molson.

Lesson #190, 191, 192: Catching Up

This was a quiet lesson where it was just me, Ariel and Sheri.

I had a really good time with this lesson because we worked on me getting through some jumps on a small course level. After our warm-up, Sheri had designated two jumps for me to work on some course stuff. For the most part, things were going quite well but I continue to curl up a bit at jumps and as I'm reminded, that could go really badly if something goes wrong. I am running out of ideas to get me sitting up most of the time. Maybe it's my poor posture or something but I probably should get moving on that by now.

That said, two jumps that she reversed the direction and guess what? I took them in the same direction as before. *facepalm* We both knew what I did wrong and I chuckled, "this is why I won't show. I can't even remember a course of TWO jumps!" LOLOL. Of course, the reverse direction was a problem for me because it's the direction that both Ariel and I have issues with. It all starts with me, and then trickles to her because while she is capable, it doesn't take a lot to mess her up.

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My Saturday lesson was the lesson before heading out to Calgary Stampede. +ADW was already west so it was just me and another adult student. She was working solely on the flat and was in a dressage saddle. We both started a typical warm-up round and round and then I got started on a jump on a bending line (?) because it was placed at C along the rail so I had to take it while coming in on a bend and not straight away. It was a low jump but it went pretty well and I was rather pleased with myself! Not terribly exciting, this one... just one focus for the day. :)

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Our first lesson back was the following Saturday and we rode outside. I am not a fan of riding outside... I think it might be the wind rushing past you or the fact that Ariel gets easily distracted but I know I'm always on a slight increased level of alertness. And I'm sure the mare is picking up on that vibe and equally a little more buzzy.

I was hopeful though, that our trail ride during our visit to Banff would loosen up my hips. I did ride that trail ride in the mountains without stirrups for majority of it because my legs are so short that I needed the kiddie ones but they just weren't sitting right so I said screw it. More on that ride later. My hip was a little more put together and not feeling as tight as it usually does.

We did some small course work to just get me back into things but man was Ariel putting up a fuss. It was probably due to my twisted side not twisting properly and so I was like a human pretzel up there, trying to tell her to go one way only to be miscommunicating because it wasn't right the way mare wanted it. Fair... she's honest about being bang on and not making assumptions. Something I do pride myself on but also now realize that reading between the lines would be SO appreciated sometimes! :P

Lesson #189: Switch Up

The lesson on Saturday consisted of just me and +ADW puttering around the indoor. He got this idea to switch things up. Which isn't a bad idea as I have ridden Ariel pretty consistently and don't really get on any other horse. And of all the horses to do this with too, Molson. Not a bad idea. I've ridden Molson just once previously and I did so in the dressage saddle. ADW rode another pony named Angel once but the pairing was... awkward.

I hopped on all of the 16hh or so and ADW got on all of Ariel's short stubby 15.1 or 2 hh. He giggled and said he hasn't gotten on such a small horse since he started learning at the previous school. Ariel also has a short little neck so there is even less horse underneath you! The most noticeable difference is in the amount of contact that Molson demands of his rider. Ariel is most content with maybe 1-3 lbs of contact but Molson can take upwards of 20lbs. Talk about a big difference to adjust right at the get go.

We start the lesson with trotting and then canter. Molson's canter is bigger and is just different and I need to consistently take more contact so he knows what is being asked of him. There were moments that my contact would just disappear because he pulled me forward so I have to focus on maintaining that contact or he'd pull me down in the corners. I have never had to give more contact than Saturday. Not only do I have to consistently sit up and maintain the contact while encouraging him forward, I needed to remember that the falling on the forehand is a gradual process.

I was nervous, needless to say. But, J has a bunch of confidence in our abilities and the opportunity to try something different led to him say "let's jump this". I wasn't feeling  hot about the idea since I was struggling with the contact thing and fighting one of my biggest issues: leaning forward into the fetal position. Riding Molson brought a lot of attention to that fault of mine. We went over one nice low X jump at the trot and my pace was crawling so much that by the time he reached the base of the jump, he was practically at a stand-still and took off anyway. I am impressed I didn't go flying off. Sitting up REALLY does do wonders. We tried it several more times and each time I had to consciously make the effort to keep sitting up and thinking "we're going up hill" with the increased contact. He also has a reputation to power up just before the jump and that's just one more thing to consider and take into account. Riding him literally feels like you're riding a rocker launcher that pulls you forward. My two point didn't feel like a two point since I felt simply like I was sitting up... but I think it might have been the start to addressing some of my issues and gives me an idea of what I should be doing.

ADW on the other hand was puttering around on Ariel and he got the opportunity not to have to deal with the heavy forehand and the powering up towards the jump. They did really well too! He has the opposite problem from me where he has to reduce the contact BUT maintain the light contact which I find trickier than the opposite. It's easy to lose that contact or jossle the reins and that too, annoys Ariel. LOL.

That said though, Molson wasn't a big fan of me and did give me a few disagreements with his ears turned back and his shaking his head a few times. Perhaps another time I'll see how things go... it was a good change up that required each of us to change the approach we're used to.

Lesson #188: Baby's Got Her Grove Back

The last few weeks have turned my brief success into a distant memory. It's as if things were regressing and I had no control of what was happening. But this ride on Thursday was right on. I was in a lesson with 2 students: both skilled riders and young so there is a certain level of intimidation but I have ridden with both before so I just said whatever. Besides, I'm shorter than one of the girls so... LOL.

I get the impression that it's going to be a pretty intense lesson with few breaks. I'm right... the warm up consisted of a proper posting trot going around. Then, we dropped stirrups. Once we changed direction and then went at it a few times, we were asked ... canter. Me? Surely you must mean the other two? Nope, me too. I chickened out said I wasn't feeling confident about that and pulled my stirrups back. In hindsight, I probably should have just said whatever but like I said, I've been having more and more doubts with my own ability and I'm finding that a lot of this sport has to do with one's confidence in their ability rather than actual ability... hold on. Not to say that you should go running out there to do whatever but your instructor is on the ground and has been watching you ride for a while... they know what you're capable of so they're not going to ask you to do something you're uncomfortable with. It's all in my head, I think.

I pushed Ariel to canter the rounds (with stirrups) and we just trucked around in pretty good form. Next, we're asked to take jumps one at a time building them into a course of 3-4 jumps. I got as far as taking a nice low vertical and then another vertical with a little gate underneath, a 2'6" lattice jump that was on the narrow side and finally, another vertical with skids underneath! I GOT OVER!! The entire course was done at a canter too and while my biggest weakness continues to be clenching into the fetal position and getting on Ariel's forehand, it wasn't all that bad! I felt in control and my position was (for the most part) not too shabby.

Sheri said that despite the usual shortcomings I've consistently been struggling with, I got over the course just fine and I looked way more relaxed than in the past little while. Things do feel great and I'm really excited to progress and hopefully get back on track!