Monday, September 5, 2016

Challenge

Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.--Unknown

I've rarely given much thought about being able. You know, not having my abilities hindered either physically or mentally. That is, until my Summer of George, which has given me a lot to think about with respect to a reduction of mobility in general. I've always acknowledged the risks involved with riding and have fallen multiple times; as well, seen others do it and break their own bones. I've never thought twice about getting back on. Maybe I reconsidered at the time b/c I was shaken up and probably feeling a little tenderized but never post lesson/riding.

After I fell off, I wanted to get back on but the pain was telling me otherwise. Enough, that I relented to the suggestion by a "barn mom" to get to the hospital to get x-rays; you know, just in case. When the news was broken (ha, see what I did there!) to me, about the wrist and the knee/leg, I was devastated, embarrassed and annoyed. The physician informed me that I had a wrist fracture and would be casted for the usual 6 weeks (pending healing abilities) but the leg/knee break would require surgery *sob*. After the emotions subsided a bit, my immediate thoughts were: when would I be able to ride again and what I needed to tell my bosses.

My priorities were short-sighted. I neglected to consider all the things I take for granted: getting from bed to the bathroom, personal hygiene, eating... the list goes on. It wasn't until I was brought home that reality smacked me in the face, and then some. I had to collect my pride, independent nature and anxiety, then replace it with patience, humility, a positive sense of perspective, and some heavy pain medication.

The last three months have challenged me, and been the source of some of my most important lessons.

The most obvious lesson I've acquired in the last three months is the reality of a physical/mobility related limitation. But I failed initially to understand how it affected others around me; I understood it affect the obvious things like being able to ride that horse, or get from place to place, but a single limited individual depends on the support of others around them, to get things done. I would never have been able to get to my doctor appointments, have proper meals or even keep the house (the yard is a whole other story thanks to this summer) in a somewhat respectable manner without the help of others like my family and +ADW. Depending on others was difficult for me to accept because of my independent nature.

Another lesson I took from the accident itself, and apply both to my riding and to other areas of my life: make the best of what's been thrown your way, adapt and persevere. If I've made a commitment to do something, I just have to follow through. The reiteration of this concept is particularly important at this time because I will be starting a journey that won't end in a one hour lesson... I am returning to school to upgrade my marks in order to apply for vet college, and IF I get in, I'll be focusing on the schooling to get me to that end goal. Mental endurance and keeping that eye on the prize will be my focus.

An unexpected lesson arose as I was getting better and more mobile. My first trip out of the house (other than doctor visits) was to the mall by wheelchair. Once I got a taste of some of what I was missing, I wanted to go out all the time. Alas, that was not my fate and I have been trying not to fixate on the time passing to see when ADW would return and we could do something like go out or watch TV. The simple fact was I was surprised at just how bored I could become with a whole day of doing nothing but sitting on my butt writing, reading or watching. It's clear that I will need to incorporate an activity into my day too.

The experience as a whole has been eye opening and though not exactly wanted or planned, worthwhile to look through different perspectives to gain a better understanding of myself and others around me. I just hope that this never happens again b/c the last lesson outlined above was probably the most difficult to gain!

6 comments:

  1. ugh i seriously empathize with this post. your injury sounds significantly more limiting than my own broken leg last year... but i definitely know the feeling of suddenly not being able to do all those little things i'd previously taken for granted. wishing you a speedy and uncomplicated recovery!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks! i read about yours too! it sucks for sure... but i look forward even more, to when i am back to normal and able to do the things i used to!

      Delete
  2. Learning to go with it is the hardest and I commend you on your reflection and rumination!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. totally. it's been the biggest challenge for me, to date! i would rather be busy doing something than relying on someone else to get 'er done!

      Delete
  3. Oof. When I broke my arm, it was jumping on a stranger's horse at a backyard barn and it was a pretty dumb way to go down. One thing I have realized is that breaking bones as a more low-key rider is not inevitable. My instructor has never broken a bone in all her experience! Thanks for keeping up with my blog despite your limitations this summer! (Literally, my only reader!) Can't wait to hear about how you get back into it after this time. p.s. I may have broken down and cried a couple times while I was getting better because I just couldn't get enough sleep in those 3 months. No shame.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i think a few of us just get unlucky. but i certainly won't be doing that again! i am really happy to see your progress during the summer despite some of the less desirable weather/temperatures.

      Delete